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Tracy1989 Tracy1989 22-25, F 17 Answers Apr 5, 2011

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Omgosh girl, Im going through the exact same phase as you. And mine is 20yrs old this yr too and he was my bestf back then. He tries his best to meet me and all but at the same time, its clear that he put his friends first before me. Like when we are out with his friends, we would be apart from each other and thats because we wouldnt want his friends to feel awkward. Even one of his friends ask us why we are a couple but we dont look like one. And he say thats because he is afraid that his friends will be awkward. And when we finally have our alone time, we would cuddle and all but he would go back to playing his game. So its like eventhough we meet like twice a week, it feels like we barely meet cause most of the time, there will always be a barrier between us. Idk how long I can tolerate this. I miss him so badly and he says he misses me too but thing is, im not seeing his efforts. I dont want to always be the one crying at the end and im afraid to talk things out cause i dont want him to see me as a clingy or not understanding girlf. I have been patient with him and going his ways but idk how long I can stand this hiding and the pathetic time we have for each other. Its been ongoing for about 5 months and the process really sucks.

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Try 2 years off and on!!!!! mine is 20 years old ******* as well says he tires to give me all the time he has! **** that!

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:( im going through the same thing... and he is 20! he is trying, which I appreciate but he doesnt see his error. last time when he was with his friends, he took like 5 minutes to be alone with me, and said "see, im trying" and then back to his friends again... its annoying :( it's like when he is with his friends he feels better and complete and I can see him smiling and enjoying... how can I take that away from him? i just seat there and watch him enjoy while im trying to cool down inside. and i dont want to complain to him so much that he will leave me or something :(

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Well, it seems as though you don't (yet) understand the male equation. Guys like to hang out with guys.<br />
Particularly when they're young. You didn't mention how young your boyfriend is --- but, if this is Vegas and I'm rolling the dice ---- I'll bet he's young.<br />
IF that's the case ---- then get used to it. He's not going to change --- not just yet.<br />
Guys have "wild oats to sow" --- and want to be with their "buddies". They don't want to be "tied down" --- and girl friends tie them down.<br />
I said everything above on the assumption that you're both "young". You never disclosed you and your boy-friends age.<br />
When "boy-friends" are young ---- they want to be with boy-friends. You? You're on the back-burner, for now. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings ---- but that's reality.<br />
When "boy-friends" are young ---- they're not ready for responsibilities nor committments, as in a girl-friend. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you nor want to be with you --- it's just that he has other agendas in place --- such as bowling with the guys, etc.<br />
Don't worry about it. It's nothing new ---- in fact, it's old news. Every girl has to accept that "boys will be boys".<br />
I could be wrong about everything ---- maybe your boyfriend is 60 years old --- but I doubt it.<br />
Just hang in there and deal with it. You'll both know when "the time is right". It'll work out.<br />
Best of luck to you and regards!

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Yep you are 100% right. he only 20, and he a BIG kid. and I love him for that....

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yeah mine is 20 also but damn man! the only time your there is when they want sex! hang out half the day it's like thye care more about there friends than you! and it pissed me off!

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I understand it's stupid and i don't care they shouldn't make age an excuse, there are 20 year old guys out there who are way more mature, i mean there is a 26 year old who is my bf's friend and he is so immature! also a player! doesn't know how to treeat women! treats them like objects for sex!

They are supposed to hang with you! supposed to give you time!

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& you should kick his *** off.

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NO!Especially if you think he is the one.It means when you are married he will put things ahead of you ,his wife!Bad marriage indeed.

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True ****! you are right!!!!!!

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bro's before hoes - if you divorce him his friends will be there....

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yeah.! that's right.

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But hey where not hoes i mean unless well i am not.

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Well guys what im not a hoe, and second they aren't his true friends because, he cahnges to fit in with them and they arent going to be there for him.

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you are a *******

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no it is never ok i get sad when people feel it is okay. you should have a talk with him... if you cant then I would end the relationship

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the sad part is.... we was best friends and now we dating. he tell me his friends ask if he done me YET.... I feel like he want s e x with me...... I'm lost

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I understand how you are feeling and the other comments using age as an excuse is BS. What if those "buddies" are really girls and guys?<br />
My bf and I use to be so close until some of my ex-friends who are girls started hanging out with them. Every time he blows me off for his friends. Thats not right.

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If men prefer their buddies, irrelevant of age, they are certainly not ready for a girlfriend, relationship. <br />
My partner (yeah right) is 57 and puts his mates, colleagues, anyone before me.<br />
His soon to be EX wife said he did the same with her...this is through a solicitors letter.<br />
He is rude to me in front of them, swears at me and belittles me.<br />
I can't talk to him about anything, because he just wants a peaceful life. <br />
They say silence is golden but hear his phone ring and he's like a kid with a toy....got all the time in the world, but yet on the other hand he slags them off too (confused)?<br />
What does this say about him, or even myself for that matter.<br />
He says i am the most important in his life....tralalala!

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My boyfriend put his friends and stuff in front of me all the time . He wants me to hangout with him and his friends but its awkward because one of his friends is my ex so it's awkward. We've only been satin about a week and a half but id like him to spend some time with me. But he says he's busy... I like him a lot though :( I just want this relationship to work!

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I understand it's stupid and i don't care they shouldn't make age an excuse, there are 20 year old guys out there who are way more mature, i mean there is a 26 year old who is my bf's friend and he is so immature! also a player! doesn't know how to treeat women! treats them like objects for sex!

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His friends probably existed in his life before you did. You should let him enjoy his time with them, his life doesn't revolve around you. You should go out with your own friends, Im sure he wouldnt make a stink about it. Guys like women who are independent and who dont need them in order to have fun. You have to let him enjoy other things, its not healthy to expect him to always think of you first. However, if he is totally being an *** and NEVER spending time with you, then maybe its time to dump him.<br />
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Seeing him once a week isnt enough? To me that seems fine, I only see my boyfriend once a week and we have a very close and happy relationship. However, if you really dont like it, you should discuss it with him. At least he isnt clingy, and allows you to have freedom.

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we was best friends before we went out, I am not asking alot just more then saturday

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Hold up his life doesn't revolve around you? really then what is the point of being in a relationship in the first place it's 50/50. Both ends, no one said there life has to evolve around us! Also whatdo you mena it's not healthy to think of us women! some guys like women who are clingy not all guys are the same! I don't need my bf in order to have fun! but would like to spend time with him! he spends time with me but i feel like it's not enough! i mena i don't ask for much and he syas i am always complaining! he is always smoking weed and drinking with his friends. well i think of him ;/ sorry i am just getting pissed the f off! ;/

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You got that right!!! i know what you mean i lived with mine for a year and we only hung out a couple times and he has taken me out a couples times, i am nit the type of girl who wnats to be take to a resturant or spent money on expensive things, just itme to talk and express, but he isn't goo at that! He says that we spend time together all the time and he calls us seeing each other at the house spending time with each other and he brings up how he has no money to take me out and he laready knows i don't ask for anything!!!!!!!

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Um k let me see, i never said his life should revolve around me, so ya. Your sure he wouldn't make a stink about it, you don't know my bf, well now ex. Ok men like women who are independent, ok so when does the spending time together come in?? lieelt confused here. No doesn't allow me to have freedom gets all rude when guys notice me and acts like i am going with it.

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just find someone who cares & then dump him.trust me he will never do dat with another girl again.and if u r gonna digest it that man will always hrt u.they say they love u.but they never care.whats the point of loving then? but dump them.i promise they dont care, i know.

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That depends on the situation. Most men don't want to be with their girlfriend "all" the time, ESPECIALLY if you live together. They wanna be out with their friends and doing other stuff too. How exactly is he putting his friends before you?

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I live about 1 hour and half away from him, and we do not drive a car and we do not live together,,, but he ask his friends come around his mums house all the time, and ask me just on a friday or saturday, the thing what get to me,,,,, I do ring or text him but he never text me till he wants me.... and when we are together he ask his friends come around so I feel like 1 of the guys.....and when I stay his mums house, all I get,,,, it about time we do it...... as his friends always ask him if he done me YET.... :-( It make me feel so sad to think that what he wants from me. s e x.

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You got that right!!! i know what you mean i lived with mine for a year and we only hung out a couple times and he has taken me out a couples times, i am nit the type of girl who wnats to be take to a resturant or spent money on expensive things, just itme to talk and express, but he isn't goo at that! He says that we spend time together all the time and he calls us seeing each other at the house spending time with each other and he brings up how he has no money to take me out and he laready knows i don't ask for anything!!!!!!!

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yeah i know what you mean! we need to dump our selfish pieces of **** bf's for ******* good! slam the door shut and never to return!!!!

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Well whenever i want to go somewhere it's alwas pushed to the side or i get like an hour and his friends get the whole day with him while i am in the other room. He gave me up for *** holes that weren't his friends he started spiting in my face and pushing me in front of them, because i would lash out at him because he would be rude to me and his friends just laugh! Anything i say wrong about his friends he bashes me for hit and it's like what his friends say about me he doesn't defend it. Its' always what he wnats to do, if i want to do something he doesn't want to do it and if his friends want to do the same thing he goes. Like cooking i plan on making a meal with my bf he always goes to them and talks about it like he planned it and i get upset and get annoyed and say go cook with them! ****!

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Well I have the same problem and he is 29....I am starting to think he is gay. He even takes him for lunch and never ever takes me. they always call each other, everyday.

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