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My boyfriend and I were together in the summer but we both had a lot going on and decided to work on being friends. Fast forward two months - we started talking more and we realized we both missed each other and wanted to get back together. I told him I wasn't interested in a shag buddy (we're both 35 and each of us already has a child). He agreed and said he's looking for long-term...said he wants to get married, live together, have kids, the works. We saw each other (he lives in another town), things were great, and we continued talking on the phone when we were apart. Suddenly (literally overnight), his calls stopped but his texts continued. I called him on it and told him that unless he starts putting more effort into this relationship, I'm out. He said he's made sure to text me every day or send me a message on Facebook and that he just doesn't see the need to talk on the phone all the time. He says his friends who know him better, know this. Is he playing me? Opinions?
surferchick1 surferchick1 31-35, F 7 Answers Nov 25, 2009

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It's been my experience with the guy that I'm seeing now that in a LDR the BIGGEST enemies are the 'friends'.... especially if most of those friends are in the party scene. This almost ended our relationship. IF you are serious about this guy and think you all have a future I suggest you all find a way to be in the same town....otherwise, kiss it goodbye or at the very least VERY rocky for a long time. <br />
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Guys seem to buy into the idea that wanting to 'talk' with that special someone is letting that person 'control and manipulate' their schedule....often followed by the ever popular from close friends (not gender specific) if she's like this NOW how will she be if you move-in together or God forbid get marry? Unfortunately, your feeble-minded boyfriend (they all are) cannot get over such a question and will obsess with the question until he either comes clean and tells you what all the wanting to put distance between you is about or he withdraw so much the relationship falls apart. <br />
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He has to know that YOU are the single BEST thing that has happen to him and that life without you is worthless! That all the opinions in the world don't mean a thing because YOUR opinion is the ONLY one that matters to him and that keeping you happy is the ONLY thing that makes him happy....when you get him to realize that then you will be able to continue your LDR or better yet be ready for marriage. :) What I've found very helpful in accomplishing this is to stand your ground on what YOU expect and WANT out of a relationship, let him know that you aren't interested in playing games and you are looking for forever and if he doesn't want that then it's best if you all don't talk anymore because you don't want to WASTE your time or pass up OTHER opportunities! Say it sweetly and MEAN it!!!! Doesn't work if you are bluffing.....do it and step back and watch it all fall into place! <br />
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Best of luck to you!

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You have laid your cards on the table, which is good, I can't understand the sudden turn around with him.. I'd give him a bit more time , see how it pans out... if he still won't come to the party I'd call it off... it's a bummer but you can't hang around waiting.

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I wouldn't want to guess what might be going through his mind, maybe he just hates talking on the phone. But I have a very close friend who isn't much for phone chatter. We have Known each other for 4 years and he calls me every single evening before he goes on duty. We live 2hours away from ea. other and he shows how much he cares with each call. Texting is soooo impersonal and I don't think its asking too much for your guy to take a few minutes out of his day to talk to you if he really loves you and wants to be with you. Just my opinion.......

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Get rid - I am about to do the same - If they not unemployed, married.... they gay... you wont win!

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Toss a coin. Heads, your a fikhead. Tails , he is a fikhead.

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