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He's shown me multiple signs of aggression...and we've only been together for a short time. He admitted to being abusive to his exgirlfriend, and I just want to know how much does one's past really affect who they are now? Should I be expecting a pattern...or expecting change?
theSweetestSin theSweetestSin 22-25, F 62 Answers Jan 9, 2009

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Unfortunately, yes: He will abuse you too. If he's already showing signs of aggression and has admitted to being abusive, he's testing you. And you're still there, so he believes you'll put up with it. Please leave before it gets worse. You don't deserve to be abused. No amount of love will change a person. They have to change themselves.

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I was in a few abusive relationships. At first it started out with yelling and fighting, then he hit stuff, then he started hitting me. Nothing is worse than living with that. A person that abuses another person is trying to gain control. If they think you're scared then they have control. Some cannot control their anger, they need help. Unfortunately, this is not your problem. You cannot change anyone, but you can look out for yourself. He will apologize at first, and then it's always gonna be your fault. Run, and never look back. No one deserves to be abused. If you love them, suggest they get help, if they say no, then it just proves that they don't care about you. Your safety is an important thing, but your sanity is more important. Trust me, it will ruin you mentally to fight every day for years and years. Get out and find someone who deserves you!

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Short answer<br />
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YES!!

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You already know the answer to this question. Get out now. You can not help him. Get out before he isolates you from all your family and friends.

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Please get out of this relationship. Expect the pattern.

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Yes, he will abuse you. You already know this. This knowledge is reflected in your question. Now, you have verification from several EP family members. Get out now.

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I'd say get out of the pool before you get into too deep water.

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I have had a situation like you. My ex was physically abusive to his ex. They had been separated for 2 years before I met him. He was completely honest with me about it, but instead of taking it as a warning, I kept seeing him, thinking people change. Long story short, people don't change! And if he has show signs of aggression already this early in the relationship, run as fast as you can, it will only get worse over time.

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There are so many incredible guys who not only wouldn't even think of abusing their girlfriend/wife, but treat them like stars, why on earth would you pick on guy who you are afraid might abuse you and who has proven he thinks this way even if he no longer acts this way?

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It is hard for a guy to change his ways when they are abusive. You try to get out of the relationship before you get hurt.

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YES.

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he's shown signs of aggression and admitted abuse towards an ex? i think there's definitely a chance that he will be abusive to you. the majority of the time, going by what i've seen most of my life, an abusive man is abusive to whoever he hooks up with. i'd be careful with this one. is he making any effort to change his ways, getting help? if not, you might want to rethink being involved with this sort of person.

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If he touches you, kill him.

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Second warning: Yep, they make you ugly. I know. Sucked the life force out of me and made me look older beyond my years. Get ready for this.

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amoot has got it right, You will look a lot physically worse, even if he leaves you teeth you'll age a lot, look a lot worse , be sicker physically and mentally.You'll become heaps less desirable when it all ends rhan what you have been. If you stay at all. he will abuse and there is no professional help in most cases, especially in time for a current relationship -ibesilly is wrong- If you don't leave now, and I mean in the next 24 hrs after reading these post, then give no more explanation than it's over and never want to hear from him again ( however it is safest-disapear & text bye) keep up no contact, use the law if he tries,If you don't act now with the dounts you have and all these comments you may as well kiss yourself goodbye. If you don't respect yourself enough right now to do this for your own sake then do it for the family and friends who care about you and don't need the frustrating torture of your sideline demise to be played out and the work of picking up your pieces later. <br />
Get counselling ASAP as well to work out what tripped you up to have him pick you and engage you.(Self) Knowledge is power.

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If you have any doubt, and I don't think you really do, contact an abuse hot line ( no need to give your name) and they will quickly resolve any and all question that yes... you will be abused and in ways you cannot begin to imagine. You will lose your self-esteem as well. Please get out of this relationship as fast as possible and then watch yourself, he will not take this kindly.

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YES. Get out, before you feel trapped and miserable.(God forbid you should have children with him)!!!! You deserve better!!!! Being alone is better than being with an abuser! If you have a history of putting up with abuse, get help!

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Run as fast as you can from this one.....A cat rarely changes it's spots...If he was that way with her....What makes you think that he will not be that way with you

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unfortunatly yes.. they don't stop trust me, i know!!

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First, let me salute HideousBeast on that answer :). Of course he will abuse you. He needs intensive therapy so that he may, someday, learn to express his emotions without inflicting physical and emotional pain on others. Until he has mastered that skill, he is a dangerous man. Please get out of this relationship before it is too late.

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