Oh.. welcome to my world... teenagers are hard to understand at times... they are filled with hormones and their life as they see it is uncertain and they are filled with self doubt. <br />
All I can offer you is to Love her through it... tell her that you are sorry she is hurting /upset /unsure of her life and that you are always there for her if she wants to talk. Try not to let the hurtful words she says get you too far down. I think it's okay to say.. "hey.. Im sorry you are having troubles.. but what you said was very hurtful to me." .......It's going to be a bit of a roller coaster ride for a few year... hang in there.
You have to let it slide off of you like water off of a duck. She'll grow up someday, and probably be sorry for hurting you. She may never actually apologize for it, though.
Try not to take it personally. As you said, she's 17, they act out at that age, it's a part of growing up.
Just remember that once she calms down, she will probably realize she didn't mean those hurtful things she said to you. She might not admit it though. I'm sorry you are experiencing this though. =( Try not to take what she said to heart--it was most likely said out of anger and some sort of desire to be fully grown up and "free". She probably doesn't realize that she hurt you THAT much, and she is probably more focused on how she feels. That doesn't make it okay, but I'm just trying to explain why it probably happened like this. I'm 21. A few years ago when I was that age, my mom and I did NOT get along at all! We had such awful fights, and I ended up moving out shortly after graduation. We needed that separation. We can actually get along now. I think it helps that we're not around each other all the time. Once your daughter is done with high school, things will probably start improving, even if she doesn't move out or move far away. There's just such a desire at that age for "freedom."
its funny we can only hurt the ones we love. just love her they way you want to be loved and tell her that you her nomatter what you will allways love her . she wants a fight dont give in to her show her who the grown up is.
try not to take her words to heart. she is young, and when she's angry probably won't think about what she says. Don't cry b.c thats probably what she wants. some ppl like to hurt others 2 feel better. i'm not saying thats whats happening in your case, but i've seen it happen between my sister and my mom. Its ok to be sad, but maybe wait till your alone to let out your frustration. a lot of young ppl will do things like that for shock affect. give her time, i'm sure she will turn around someday. my sister did, now her and my mom are like two peas in a pod
hey , try not to take it seriously , im feeling guilty because i hurt sometimes similar (i dont know whether similar , but hurt ) like your daughter , believe me , its not genuine , from the bottom of my heart i feel so love form mom , i really respect her , admire her , but dont hav guts to tell her because sometimes i misbehave , i expect punishment , i said sorry , cried even , you all moms are just GOD !!
You done good mama, you raised a young lady who can express herself freely. Also, remember they really let out the frustrations in the only place they feel really safe to do so. She knows you love her. So, dust yourself off, dry the tears and go have some fun for yourself. It is time for you to love yourself a lot regardless of what she or anyone says. <br />
If you try to listen to the content without taking it personally, you may find little keys to what is really bothering her and also, be patient with yourself and her...in a couple of years as she matures, you will be the most wonderful person in the world to her I'll bet. <br />
It is a frightening age, 17. Perhaps try to get some time when she is not freaking out to have some quiet talks over tea or something.
So, you either raised a selfish ***** by giving her everything out of guilt or you are weak. If you are weak tell her to get out and go get a job. No more food for her. Let her make it herself. I would say smack her across the face but that wouldn't be politically correct. Time to let that bird fly from it's nest.
Look, drama queen (no offense). I can tell you that whatever she said, she didn't mean it (especially if she said it right after you denied her the rights to something). Just get over it, and have a chat with her. If you try to tell her calmly what you've been feeling after she said that to you, and maybe she'd apologize.
Ask why she said so. I bet you say many things that you don't mean. Plus a lot of time, the meaning of words changes by the time it comes from one persons mind and enters your ears. Many factors affect the meaning and the thought. <br />
The point is don't cry over it because a) she probably didn't mean it b) even if she did, it will be a good practice if facing the truth now.