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My dh plays iracing ALL THE TIME. Why doesn't he spend that time with me?

We've been married for almost 3 years. Have a wonderful marriage...except this.

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8 Answers to "My dh plays iracing ALL THE TIME. Why doesn't he spend that time with me?"

  1. Vessa - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Vessa May 19th, 2012 at 5:51PM

    It's more of a mindless sort of activity, I suppose. Requires nothing of him. No need to interact. And he is probably a bit addicted to it.
    Some guys just want to "be" much of the time. Whether it's watching sports or taking a nap. I'm thinking it's a man thing.

    Like (3)

  2. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 19th, 2012 at 5:54PM

    You are probably right. He enjoys it so much that there isn't any moderation involved lol.

    Like (1)

  3. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 19th, 2012 at 5:56PM

    I thought I replied to you lol. Thanks for the answer. I agree.

    Like (1)

  4. fightn4me - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by fightn4me May 20th, 2012 at 9:22AM

    Another gamer widow; HI hon, I understand. My dh plays the new Diablo 3...when he got it I shook his hand and said "it's been nice to know you; I hope to see you around some time"...half jokingly of course. He spends up to 8 hrs a day on his day off work and some days of work he will stay up until 4 am playing. I go to bed at 11!!! He gets up by 11 am and goes to work...

    I don't see how it is much different from having a mistress;
    except for the obvious infidelity....
    1-he BUYS his mistress gifts (his "ADDICTION" gets new games, I do not; heck, I don't even get flowers)
    2-he SPENDS ALL OF HIS SPARE TIME and MOST OF THE TIME THAT HE COULD spend with me playing his game
    3-he GETS DEFENSIVE if I say that I would like to spend time with him and I would like him to stop playing all the time...I don't say this.
    4-he DOESN'T make plans with me, I have to make plans with him.

    Go out and do things that YOU like to do; I take my son to the library and we go shopping and to the park. My dh bought me a laptop because I told him that I needed one (since he bought himself a new laptop JUST to play games on!!!) so I could write and get online. I am looking at some new software for interior design now...and focusing on redecorating the house. All in all, I hope he realizes that NOT spending time with me might become VERY expensive!!!! LOL...you can do the same!!! If you don't have him, HAVE WANT YOU WANT to make your life easier (I got a new dishwasher, floor steamer and bread machine and getting a new refrigerator and then stove...soon!)

    Like (2)

  5. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 21st, 2012 at 10:55AM

    Thanks for the reply. I'm going to have to do something. I can't just keep sitting around waiting for him to want to spend time with me ya know?

    Like (1)

  6. fightn4me - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by fightn4me May 21st, 2012 at 11:12AM

    I do understand and I don't "sit around and wait" anymore; he looks for a kiss before I go to bed and it is NOT passionate because there is "no promise there". Go on and start LIVING YOUR LIFE; I am...love him, stay with him but LIVE YOUR LIFE, around him if you have to...that is what I am doing.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  7. MasterMix - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by MasterMix May 19th, 2012 at 6:17PM

    He is a man child and still enjoys games. It is simple mindless fun. Most games have some type of reward for participating. It is probably something he is pretty good at and it helps him feel good about himself.

    Like (2)

  8. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 21st, 2012 at 10:56AM

    You're probably right :)

    Like (1)

  9. fightn4me - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by fightn4me May 21st, 2012 at 11:13AM

    Mine "uses" games for emotional regulation and ego gratification (he is very good at them). He succeeds in games but doesn't feel that he has succeeded in life.

    Like (1)

  10. 308shooter - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by 308shooter May 19th, 2012 at 6:09PM

    Take a sledge hammer to it. He obviously wants it more than you, so you have to treat it like an enemy.

    Like (2)

  11. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 21st, 2012 at 10:56AM

    I would love to. However, he is on my computer lol.

    Like (1)

  12. 308shooter - 56-60 years old - male

    Reply by 308shooter May 21st, 2012 at 11:54AM

    That's even easier to fix, password protect it.

    Like (1)

  13. BamPow - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by BamPow May 19th, 2012 at 5:53PM

    I had never heard of Iracing until just now. I looked it up and can only say that it looks like a waste of time and resources. You need to kick your husband in the pants and tell him to grow the &@$?! up.

    Like (2)

  14. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 19th, 2012 at 5:55PM

    I've told him to grow up...he says growing up is optional ;)

    Like (1)

  15. BamPow - 41-45 years old - male

    Reply by BamPow May 19th, 2012 at 5:58PM

    There's a time and a place to have fun. I'm certainly not always the most serious guy in the room. However, there is also a time and place for maturity as well.

    Like (1)

  16. Oddandsingular - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by Oddandsingular May 19th, 2012 at 5:51PM

    Next time he wants something from you, ignore him. I believe in showing people their own behavior because they just deny it with words.

    Like (2)

  17. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 19th, 2012 at 5:53PM

    Amen. They sure do...

    Like (1)

  18. NedKelly1 - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by NedKelly1 May 19th, 2012 at 5:48PM

    Maybe he does not find you exciting any more

    Like (2)

  19. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 19th, 2012 at 5:49PM

    That's kinda what I've been wondering lol.

    Like (1)

  20. NedKelly1 - 51-55 years old - male

    Reply by NedKelly1 May 19th, 2012 at 5:51PM

    I did not mean to offend you, its time for you to start chasing him again

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  21. OriginOfEmotion - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by OriginOfEmotion May 19th, 2012 at 5:47PM

    iracing must be more interesting :(

    Like (1)

  22. ajennings822 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ajennings822 May 19th, 2012 at 5:49PM

    Thanks...I'm sure it is more interesting than having a discussion lol :)

    Like (1)

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