That's a tough one to answer. Mostly because the situation you're explaining is your point of view. It's difficult to get a 3rd person perspective without having some history.<br />
Some things I can see though. The responses that are on here so far seem to have a very strong opinion even though they don't have that history either. So beware of them because they are much more a reflection of their personal experiences then they are an analysis of your situation!<br />
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So since it's not possible for me to give you a solid answer, I'll give you interesting questions that may help you find the answer yourself.<br />
1) You're clearly having trouble figuring out why he's doing this. What's stopping you from asking him this question?<br />
2) How long have you been together and how good is his confidence? Because after a break up he might feel the need to find out if he's still able to get the interest of women.<br />
3) How would he feel about it if you told him that after a few months you're still watching what he's doing?

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[1]. the things that are stopping me from asking him this question are many things. one of the things are that he doesnt tell the truth so I feel like me asking him would be a waste of time. he clearly told me he wasnt dating and I found out he was, so why would he tell me the truth about the things he's really doing. also, he doesnt want to speak to me because of his own guilt. so me asking him and contacting him would be pointless because he'd feel as if he doesnt owe me ANY answers. no matter how wrong he did me.
[2.] we've been together for a year and 1 month.
[3.] as far as him knowing I'm still watching what he's doing, I personally feel like that is something he wants because he personally would get a kick out of knowing that I'm still paying him any mind.
as far as the history goes and what happened between us? we were actually supposed to move in together. I was visiting him. It was a long distance relationship and everything seemed fine. he even told me he wanted to marry me and have children with me. there were no signs of this break up what so ever...and as soon as I was headed on my flight back home to pack my things to move back down with him, he called me 2 days later with a weird tone and told me he didnt want the relationship anymore. just like that. and his reasons were ODD. such as "you complain about your weight too much, I shouldnt have to ask you to help my mom cook in the kitchen, and all of our "past" arguments.." those were his reasons. and he always claimed how it was a possiblitiy of us getting back together...yet he started doing all of the things that were going to make it IMPOSSIBLE for us to get back together , such as rekindling relationships and friendships with old-flights,one night stands and other ex-girlfriends. where's the respect? this is all the things that lead us into not speaking at all.
I hope I filled you in on the history so you could have more of a valid response for me?

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Somewhat more yes. One thing is clear, his lies are a confidence problem. He avoids all forms of confrontation.
But I don't think his mean reason is that he doesn't feel like he owes any answers (even if he might say this, yes lies make things complicated) I think it's mostly because he's afraid of what will happen if he tells the truth.
The unexpected and poorly explained turnaround is something I recognize from a past relationship. In my situation it was because they enjoyed my attention and causing trouble was the best way to get a lot of it. I don't believe that they realized that they were doing that though. They thought it was really how they felt and would try to defend the point of view with arguments that made no sense at all.
You, like me, are a very rational thinker and will be able to easily run over those poor arguments. It may very well be what they're afraid of when avoiding talking to you. It could also be that this is what makes him scram into all directions with seemingly random women. Inner conflict along with fear.
If he feels on the one hand that he needs your attention, then he'd be inclined to stay involved with you somehow. But he might also feel the need to find someone that in his experience would accommodate more for his insecurities, so that would drive him away. But being insecure he might not know where to go to.
Keep in mind though this is still only me sharing my experiences myself. I'm certain of that because I know there's a certain degree of personal opinions mixed with the background you gave me. So it's still tainted. Which is very normal since this is all still a fresh wound to you.
To be honest I wouldn't even recommend going this deep into trying to find much certainty for these question.
I would do the following:
Determine for yourself if you want to give him another chance at fixing the relationship and -how- you want to give him that chance. If you do give him that then really be open to let him try. If you don't or he ruins his chance, then be clear to yourself (and him) that it's over. You'll be much more at ease after you've licked your wounds, learnt from it all and found a guy that suits you better.

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I very well understand where you're coming from.... but this part "Determine for yourself if you want to give him another chance at fixing the relationship and -how- you want to give him that chance. If you do give him that then really be open to let him try. If you don't or he ruins his chance, then be clear to yourself (and him) that it's over." I've tried to get HIM to see he was making a mistake by breaking up with me but he didnt. he continued to tell me he didnt want a relationship right now. he didnt give me a reason, just excuses and lies. so I think that part would be hard for me, especially being that at the moment he wants nothing to do with me or a committed relationship, especially seeing his actions, and knowing that his MOTHER is also in his ear about him so-called moving too fast with a woman like myself. there's alot of factors that I hear could of played a part in our breakup, which is why I'm trying to figure out why it happened. maybe I was too old/mature for him? I'm 26, he's 23? maybe age has no effect? I have no idea. there's just so much going through my head. and it sucks that he's doing what he's doing with other women, and I'm here wondering why me. that's all.

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Trying to make him see he made a mistake and him throwing it in your face sounds like a chance that he blew. You have enough reason to close the chapter, but because you want to understand it you keep yourself stuck in the middle.
You don't have to understand, there were a lot of things that I didn't understand about the girl from my first break up but after gaining some more and different experiences I did come to understand it.
It could be that you are too mature for him, but I don't think being too mature for anyone has to do with physical age. More with mental age and things like, whether you can be bitter and harsh or not.
All I know is that what you're saying here looks to me as if you're not just trying to understand it, but trying to find a way to justify for yourself to try and fix this relationship without his consent. If you haven't found that reason already after being apart for a few months, then don't try to pursue it. You'll find yourself determined on doing something that he will be blocking for no apparent reason. Besides that, you'll have a lot more peace of mind trying to get over it. Whether you'll end up back together or not. *hugs*

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No matter how wonderful a situation is, a person will not appreciate it if they don't understand it's value. People don't crave what they always had, only what they never had. For example children raised in rich families can take money for granted and spend recklessly, even if their family worked very hard to be where it is. Perhaps your ex had been brought up in a stable home environment, went straight into a stable relationship with you, and always wondered if there was more excitement to life than a white picket fence. Most likely he'll come back around when the drama gets too much.

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Good nookie is always on the other side of the fence for many guys, too many say they want to settle down but in reality don't.

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Vids

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because if they are not faithfull he doesnt have to be either

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