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He paid for my ENTIRE beautiful wedding. I have not seen the ex's family in over 2 years. Should I attend the services? The divorce ended friendly...just have been out of touch.... Would it be inappropriate for me to attend? He was really good to me when we were married. (Marriage lasted two years)
PrincessMaine PrincessMaine 46-50, F 27 Answers Dec 10, 2012 in Divorce

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I would go to the funeral if I wanted to and was comfortable with the family. You could also send them something and flowers for the funeral home if it far away or you're not sure you'd be comfortable going.

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That's a great idea, but I do not have deep pockets for flowers...thank you! I have never really dealt with a situation like this....

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cards and a care package are the same thing.....especially if you can remember what sorts of thing the immediate family likes ..like what cookies to make

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I think you should go.....sit towards the back pay your respects quietly and be supportive....If he was a good guy and the marriage ended ammicably.....then you need to go......

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Thank you, kind Sir...

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As in my culture I would say just go, show your respect, the relation between you and your ex is another thing. Your ex family perception toward you also another thing. If you really think its inappropriate for you to go then just send a condolence.

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Thank you, Topay. I'm leaning on the side of making a quick appearance, but asking the ex first. I don't even know how to talk to him about this. He loved and was extremely close to his Dad....

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I would go. My father and mother divorced and it was a horrible ordeal. I took my fathers side and never really saw my mothers side of the family anymore. But when my mothers father passed away I went and paid my respects to him because he was a good man. I could have cared less about anybody else there because I did it for him and that's what counts. So go and do what you feel is right :)

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Thank you very much for your opinion....perhaps I won't regret going...

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I think you should go.

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Thank you, tony....

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Welcome.

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I would go but not spend a lot of time with the family show them you cared and pay your respects to allow you to get closure for you not them but be respectful of them which I have no doubt you will because it is you

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You are very sweet...thank you....By the way..I love your avatar..The Neverending Story is one of my favorite stories of all time....

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Out of respect for your ex and your ex father-in-law, I would think it would be very appropriate for you to attend the funeral.

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Thank you risen.....

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You're very welcome.
I attended the funeral of my ex mother-in-law, out of respect for her.

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I think it would be respectful for you to attend. Sadly, funerals tend to bring the worst side out of people. Kinda pathetic. It's your last time to display anything for this wonderful man, who clearly left an imprint on your life. I went to the funeral for my ex-hub father last year and I even brought my husband, we all got along well and comforted each other. <br />
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I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you the best. Hugs.

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Thank you for your kind words. My big brother also loved the man, however he lives out west. But I'm certain he will be sending some beautiful flowers on behalf of our whole family.

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BTW... I like ur profile pic. So natural, pretty and happy looking!!

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Thank you!!!! It's about a year old!

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yes do go by all means and be there to honor this person that you have so much respect for, no question.

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Thank you kindly!

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You need to go. This is between you and your ex-Father in Law and nobody else. Even if it's just for a minute.

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That's what I was thinking.....thank you...

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As long as there are no harsh feelings between you and your ex, if you cared about this man I say it would be good for you to go to his funeral. Ask your ex quickly if he would mind if you came to pay your respects.

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Seems to be the majority of answers...thank you.....

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not entirely sure of your situation,but I know my cousin's ex wife came to my aunt's funeral ( her ex mother in-law of course),and she paid her respects,very respectfully,and nobody took issue with that.Not sure if this helps,or even if it pertains to what you were asking,but I hope so.

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Of course it helps..thank you very much...

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I would contact your ex and tell him you'd like to attend the funeral. I think that would be better than just showing up .. especially if you haven't had any contact with him since your divorce.<br />
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I understand how you feel, but you don't want to make a scene at the funeral if they would prefer you didn't attend.<br />
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Hopefully, you can attend and show your respects in person.

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Yes..I would like that very much....

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Call ahead to inform your ex of your intentions to attend, and ask if he can understand and respect your wishes to pay your respects in person. Ask if it's appropriate for you to let anyone else know ahead of time. If anyone says anything, then or during the services, simply let them know that you are there to honor the memory of an admirable person in your life.

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Excellent answer..thank you....

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when my ex showed up at my mother's wake <br />
with her entourage of family members, I thought it was weird.<br />
I would have preferred not seeing them in attendance.<br />
I explained to some people with questionable looks on their faces,<br />
that I was sure their presence had to with our daughters.<br />
it was awkward.

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Thank you.....

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I think you should go, he was a good person to you!

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Yes and a wonderful man to his two sons....

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"Ended friendly"? Is the the ex who got on EP and was telling your friends all kinds of things and blaming everything on you? If so, I'd be a bit wary about going.

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He was bitter and angry. I am not perfect, either.....

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out of Respect you should go...

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That's what I was thinking, but not stay too long.....thank you. I'm just so torn....

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