Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
My two brothers, my mother and her husband all suspect i am financially supporting him, and that he is jobless and is not in school (all of this is true). They think i should break up with him. My brothers' advice means so much to me, and they are so important to me. i love him, but i am not IN LOVE with him, and i don't know what to do ! also he owes me a few thousand. $1000 from my SAVINGS, and the rest from my college fund. so i was worried if we broke up, he'd never pay me back. i know thats bitchy and wrong, but its a LOT of money :[
MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 15 Answers Dec 28, 2012 in Struggles

Your Response

Cancel

You should do what your heart tells you. This guy is a good guy, right? So why should you let them make that choice for you? No, he doesn't have a job and sure, he's not in school but that doesn't mean he can't do either of those. Maybe try helping your bf find a job. In the mean time, they just need to be quiet and support your choices.

Best Answer

its been a year tho :/ he says all this stuff about how amazing a perfect and wonderful i am, and how thankful he is, but i thought i meant enough to him that he would ACT instead of just TALK. idk if he is using me or what :/

Best Answer

My god. I am sorry but do you even know what you're saying? You're just making excuses to stick with this *******. Who cares how long it's been. Who cares what he says he's just saying that to you to make you stay with him. Do you REALLY think that he was thinking of you while that other girl was giving him head in the theater? Do you really think that he was thinking of you when he snuck behind your back and asked her out to a movie? Do you really think that he was thinking of you when he talked with her on his cell and made those arrangements? No, he was not. He was only thinking of himself. Are you willing to stick around that? He doesn't even love you if he loved you, he wouldn't have done that he would've been with you and you two would've been cuddling on the couch and being happy together, no. He CHEATED on you and therefore, that means he is no longer satisfied in your relationship with him. I know it's hard but you need to break up with him and move on.

Best Answer

I never said he cheated on me ?? He never made arrangements with another girl ? He didn't even have a cell phone ? I am confused where you are getting all this from ?

Best Answer

I wouldn't know enough about your circumstances to say much that's useful but I do have a few things I am curious about. Like how long have you two been together? I feel like there's this strange dynamic going on though, you're his girlfriend not his mother. He's ostensibly an adult with a preschool aged kid and he's living like this. You've gone above and beyond for the guy, you aren't married so why do you feel an obligation to even support him? Doesn't he ever question any of that?

Best Answer

I wrote two confessions about him and this situation..basically he was homeless and ended up in my dorm with me and my roommate due to an old friend of a friend. That was almost 13 months ago, and I have been supporting him ever since.
I just don't know how to break up with someone.

Best Answer

I think it might be a matter of being in different stages of your lives. You're still a student preparing for a career, (or focused on that) and he needs to focus on either finding a job, or joining the navy like he promised he would. He's got a kid you're years away from considering the idea. Whatever the case if you're having trouble keeping yourself above water you aren't doing him or yourself much of a favor by enabling him like this. Its weirding out your friendship too.

Best Answer

Its time his word meant something, and he needs that push

Best Answer

I understand what you mean by enabling..but I am just so very non confrontational..I am terrified at the thought of confronting someone with serious bad news:[
But I'm feeling stronger about deciding to do it.
I'm tired of him holding me back, I haven't been able to do so much because I can't afford it etc.

Best Answer
1 More Response

Prove to your family that he is not like they say! Prove them wrong!

Best Answer

i guess you don't know the details..but basically i have been financially supporting him for a year now, he still has no job, says he's gonna start school or join the navy, but hasn't yet..

Best Answer

Oh well still prove them wrong! You gotta be more assertive with your bf tell him to get his sh.it together and look for a job! If he is this unmotivated to do so then you should take your bros advice!

Best Answer

well i have been trying for months to motivate him. first i just said he NEEDS t do it cause i can't afford it. then i tried asking him to get a job etc for ME, seeing as i try so hard n every way for him. i thought he'd want to be stable, and strong and grown up for me, he always takes it the wrong way tho.

Best Answer

Do not let your family define you and your choices. You are your own person and entity!!

Best Answer

Hi! My name is Lande Yoosuf and I'm casting a show about people that dealing with issues between their significant other and their family. I'd like to hear more about your story if you're open to sharing. I can be reached at lande.yoosuf [at] vpetalent [dot] com. Thanks so much!

Best Answer

Give him a time limit to do something constructive with his life: job, school, military. If he chooses not to take action by that time, tell him you will leave him. Tell him you expect him to pay you back the money you loaned him. Whether or not he does it, is another matter. You may have to take a loss on it and take it as a lesson learned the hard way. Time will tell. Frankly, if he has a son that he has no desire to support financially, he probably isn't too concerned about being responsible or supportive of a girlfriend. <br />
<br />
Find someone who is responsible.

Best Answer

stop supporting him and ask him to do something (job) and don't leave your family for him unless he proves that he is worth for you

Best Answer

Marry the bastard

Best Answer

i'm not IN LOVE with him tho ! why would i marry someone who is using me :[

Best Answer

Dump his sorry arse

Best Answer

I thought girls only went for guys with more money than them?<br />
<br />
Hmm, must be wrong :)

Best Answer

i have two really good friends, and they both are or have at some point been financially supporting their guy. i think guys are getting lazier and think women can do everything :/

Best Answer

Assuming their suspicions are false, ignore them.

Best Answer

but i know for a fact that they are true. i have been financially supporting him for a year, and this entire time he keeps saying he'll get a job, go to school, then join the navy. he hasn't done anything except ask me for things.

Best Answer

It sounds like you need to set some terms. For example, tell him to either find (and keep) a job within two months or you'll stop giving him things.
It's not cruel, it's helping him. Whether he sees it or not.
Families can be really stupid at times, but in this case it sounds like they're genuinely trying to help.

Best Answer

his answer is: i have applied to a bunch of places already....
also, once i asked him to find a friend to stay with while i was gonna be gone for a bit, he told me he asked a few friends on fb. his fb page was up on my laptop, and in the messaging history there was nothing. so i know he lied to me. so he could lie again.

Best Answer

Ask him specifically what places he applied to. When I was pretending to job hunt (don't worry, I actually did find a job within a couple months anyway, lol), my first answer was always that I applied "everywhere". When someone asked me specifics, it made me pause.

Best Answer

i'll do that. i am in a different state than him at the moment, and so part of me wanted to take a break with him while i am gone. like deal with it not in person (i know thats bad but i am awful in confrontation) i go back on the 6th, so my time is running out.

Best Answer
2 More Responses

Related Questions