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Sweetmisery83 Sweetmisery83 26-30, F 12 Answers Feb 11, 2012

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i dought it was the weed that made him lie....probely something else...

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Prob the fact he can't help himself. He didn't lie he just didn't hold his promise of trying harder.

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It is doubt been engaged for 2 yrs and nothing had changed so neither has the status

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Do you realize what you just said!?!?? You said and I quote "he didn't lie, he just didn't hold his promise if trying harder".. HE ******* LIED, AND WILL CONTINUE TO LIE. He obviously didn't love you enough to give up his STUPID ******* DRUGS!!! your in a burning building,babe, get the **** out while you can!!!

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Why do you need him to stop?<br />
<br />
At the heart of it, you need to decide if you love him as the person he truly is, or if you love the idea of what he COULD be if only he did all the things you want him to do?<br />
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I think you need to stop this before the marriage and figure out who you really love. This man, or your idea of what he could be. Because you got engaged to someone who likes pot, and I am telling you hon, you don't find successful marriages ba<x>sed on the idea that things will be fine AFTER they change.

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In the end it boils down to me actually trying to compromise with the addiction we had just discussed him cutting down an keeping it for weekends only. I stopped talkin to my aunt and sister a couple of months ago cause they don't help me take care oft grandparents and drugs have taken over there life. My fiancé went there and sat with them smoked a joint and talked about me. The blunt of it is he couldn't wait for the weekend nor could he stick by me 100%. I gave him back the ring an told him that I'm goig to therapy to help myself and he needs to do the same. When he gave me the ring he made the promise of chabgig
Himself cause he wanted a better life. I'm ok with moving on but he's not.

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Whether or not he is "ok" with it, you need to be true to yourself and the actual situation you are in. We don't marry people because we are worried about them not being "ok" with us not marrying them. Right? You have your life, your happiness, your business, your goals and those are the things that you have to deal with now. You cannot change another person, EVER. Trust me. Never. He can change because he wants to change, but that truly has absolutely nothing to do with you. You must deal with the situation you are truly in. Do you love this man, and will you marry him knowing he is an addict? If so, great, marry him! If you do not want to be married to him as an addict, do not marry him. This is your choice, this is reality. Be true to what you really want and do not get married based upon what could be. If you can accept him as he is today and let him figure out his addition in his own time, then fine! Do it. Do you see?

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I understand. Thank u for te advice. This is the first time that sence has been made of it all.

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That marriage will be one made in HELL!
mark those ****** words in blood!!!

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Stop bloody nagging the poor guy so much. If you want to change him that much then why are you with him in the first place ?

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It will not get better EVER once you are married

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Are you really going to marry someone you can't trust? That's foolish. Either work out your issues in couples counseling, or leave this guy- he doesn't sound like a keeper.

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Dump hime and get a new boyfriend that does what you tell him.

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After this trust me I don't want to date anykore

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You will find some one really nice soon.

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