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aj3514 aj3514 26-30, F 9 Answers Dec 7, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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Let him decide to help himself, because until he does that, all your efforts will be for nothing. He is the only one who can make the decision. As sad as it might seem, you might have to break things off until he does. I'm sorry for your situation.

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First of all you can never get an addict to change. THEY MUST SEE AND AGREE TO CHANGE THEMSELVES. If this guy doesn't want to see he needs help and has to stop drinking then I am sorry it will be a hard lessoned learned...you need to move on.

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Get out while the getting's good.

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I only have experience dealing with a family member who is a drug addict (recovering former user). I went through the lies and deceptions with her, the excuses, the hiding things away, the secretcy of where she's been, and what she was doing. I went with her to rehab sometimes; I learned not to be an enabler, not to believe everything at face value, not to make excuses for her, let her live with the consequences of her actions.

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If he doesn't want to stop drinking he never will. And even if he does he will retain an alcohoic personality. Leave now, don't waste your time. Your leaving may be the catalyst that will put him in rehab.

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Go to Alcoholics Anonymous. People there have been through what you are going through and can help you out. Good luck.

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Al Anon is where she would needs to go. I attended the meetings for a while, until the guy leading the meetings hit on me.

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Ughhhh I know I know. I've left. He gets it together and he's back to drinking. I don't even know how to cut my losses. We've combined a home, finances, we have a kid. I've got so much invested I don't even know how to leave! I just keep hoping it'll get better. But it doesn't:(

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Why would you marry an alcoholic? One usually wants someone reliable and an alcoholic can't be expected to be. I could make quite a list of the qualifications for a husband which are usually not met by an addict.

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