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fedupwithit27 fedupwithit27 26-30, F 19 Answers Mar 12, 2011

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Do you want to stay? Can you retain your dignity and sanity? He will continue to cheat. Do you have children? If you don't have children, my answer would be to get out. But, I have a big issue with cheating, not everyone does. My husband moved out 2 years ago to live with a much younger woman in an apt not 5 blocks from our house. He continues to visit me every day and took care of me through 2 major surgeries, and he pays the bills. (Don't get too happy about this, as keeping up 2 families, he has burned through all our retirement savings). Some people tell me, let him continue. Just enjoy your life. But now that I'm back on my feet again (I'm in my 70's, not a spring chicken), I'm going to slap him with a divorce suit. I hate what he's done and is doing and I'm not going to take it anymore. So, it's taken me a long time, I've had to bide my time. You may also be in a situation where you can't leave now, but if you want to, start preparing for the day. Good luck no matter what you decide.

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HELL NO! But its up to you, you gotta dig deep into your soul and decide that once and for all you will stop with all the bullshit and live a satisfying life, even if its alone. but only YOU can decide.....take your time and be sure...learn what love and mariage REALLY mean to you and create it.

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Do you WANT to stay??<br />
Only you can decide what to do, but if you do choose to stay - I'd be ready to accept that his cheating will continue.

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yes dont leave me honey im sorry it wont ever happen again i promise please stay ha haha get ready thats what youll hear get out why the hell ask us

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How long have you known about his cheating? If you just found out, leave! If you've known the whole time, why didn't you leave before? What makes it different now? I don't think you really want to leave--if you really wanted to, you'd be packing your things right now instead of asking a bunch of strangers on EP for advice!

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Why don't you confront him and declare an open marriage, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. It means a lot more STD tests to be taken hmmm...

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He is disrespecting you and your family.<br />
You staying with him is showing that not<br />
only can he get away with it, but it is okay.<br />
Do you truly want to live with that forever?<br />
Are you scared to leave? <br />
With all respect to you.

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Ok only you know that you don't want to mess with the nest you have put together. There is a lot of this story that is not being told. However with that clue in mind and the fact you claimed as not wanting leave the "Home" as you put it that YOU worked so hard on can mean several things. <br />
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Just to give a word on it that I am sure HE has invested in what You have done with the "Home" so as to give some credit to him on that count. I know most females do not like when another person raises the fact that she was not the only one involved in putting the home together. Granted you placed things where they are and may have been the one to make YOUR mind up as to what YOU wanted in the house and where it went.<br />
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The man is not always innocent in these matters as some would like us to believe. However most women normally do what THEY want in the House. Why? Because it is the nest where all of the growth in a family is preformed. It is more of a nature event than most realize. This is how it works in nature and we the people are no different.<br />
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Now, as far as ba<x>sed on what you have stated in your question seems to present only one answer. Your question says how long you have been married. All that says here is this is how long the contract has been in effect for you to do what that contract allows. Next your question lends to us a knowing factor involved in as much you knew or know about the "Cheating" effects/events and you decided not to interfere so you could continue to carry out you intended plans that you needed him for as the sex issue was not needed or required for your plans. <br />
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Now at the end of your question you then ask if you should go or stay leaning on the stay side of the equation by using the word continue. If it were me and it is not as others have pointed out that the final action to be taken is up to you and you only. Should I choose to stay I believe I would change the ground rules just a little if I were in your shoes. Without knowing what kind of things you are into I might make the following changes.<br />
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Of course depending on what you are into or could deal with. First I believe I would adjust the shoe on the other foot~yours. If he is to continue with his extra affairs then you should be allowed to do the same. If you are not into that then simply keep it on a business level and use his financial input for the homes needs! User fees might be a good way to put it.<br />
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Another thing that might strike your fancy might be to see if he can find a friend for you~a double date so to speak. Or have him bring someone home for you with your prior approval of said person. Either sex depending on what your preference is because I have no idea.<br />
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The options on this matter are endless and either way you have some thinking to do. The very best thing you can do for you is to sit somewhere that is quiet and think of what you want because there is a door opening that is there for the taking. So~What Do You Want Out Of This Deal?

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I think NOT! time 4 you too move on 2 better things in life.. 6 years... way too long. your better than that. Do you! .

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If you don't like it and don't respect him, then leave. He will continue his philandering no matter what. It's his pattern and is very unlikely to change. You won't lose your home and all you have worked for; the courts will divide the property. Losing half of your property won't be as bad as living without dignity, respect and happiness. Remember, MOST married women live with husbands who cheat and most of them find that putting up with it is better than being divorced; if you want to be one of those women, as you are now, you can be. It's your choice. But you do not seem happy about it and you state you do not respect him. For me, that would be no way to live, certainly not to protect a nice house, some furniture etc. Think if over and and then do what you can live with.

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the answer to this lies only within you, are you willing to accept this in your life?<br />
You know it will continue, if that is ok then that is fine.........just that it will probably not change no matter what he says.

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No.

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No. Might as well stay since you seem to have gotten used to being humiliated, lied to and disregarded as a human being and partner. You seem to be ok with it if you casually ask if you should stay or go instead of leaving his cheating lying a**. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. It is not love.

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