This situation sounds a rather difficult one, and there isn't a quick and easy answer. <br />
For now, best stay away from contact with your dad, even though that will be painful for you at first and maybe later. Perhaps in time, your dad will come to realise that your husband is the gem that you already know he is. Don't put him through any more pain than necessary, or he may decide that he's had enough and make the situation worse. <br />
Good luck, whichever way it goes.

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