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We separated in November because I lied to him. He then left me homeless and I lived in a homeless shelter for over a month. We then got back together in his home town where I know no one and have no friends. I am in counseling and I and have not lied. Between both of us after our bills are paid we should have $1400 mo left over. Every month we are short. We have nothing to show for our money. I usually spend all my checks on bills ir food. I don't know what he spends his on. He says its none of my business. He expects me to cook, clean etc while he does nothing. He says his family (brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles ) come first and always will. He said it may take him years to decide if he wants to be married to me. This hurts so bad. I don't consider it a lie but he did. I worked in an hr department and he has an adult son who quit his job and moved in with us and needed a job. I told humidity could get him something but I found out he has felony convictions, dui's, and does drugs. So I couldnt get him the job.Money wise I pay most of the bills. He is supposed to pay the house payment and cell phone but last month he spent all the money giving it to his son and exwife, since she is supporting his son. He moved us closer to his family and has caused hard feelings with my family so they can't/wont help. He is also controlling to the point of limiting and telling me who I can talk to
BuddysMommy BuddysMommy 41-45, F 17 Answers Jun 23, 2012

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No idea what you lied to him about, but he is using it to make you suffer. Stick with the counselling but work on yourself esteem and getting a plan together to leave him. Fine he is not sure if he loves you, but in the meantime he is using you. Do you have family/friends you could reach out to for support? Don't stick around and let him grind you into the ground. When you marry someone, you are both meant to come first, that is the whole point, a new union, not his family. So sorry.

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If u still look at this. I would say open up a savings or another account. Put your money out of his reach. Then move.. tell him how much he means to you and how u love him but you can't take it. Tell him if he doesn't love you then get a divorce but you won't. Tell him how willing you are to be with him but ur not going to take his mental abuse. Oh find some friends join some clubs do some free classes near u but u need a friend or friends.

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exactly or he may just be talking with someone else but since u pay things he can live rent free. its sounds like he is very controlling and it sounds like to me if u dont get out of there soon it may end up worse than it is now. it may be hard because u love him but trust me i went through the same thing kind of. i lied and payed for it everyday. but theres only so much someone can take. tell him u need change or things need to change simple as that. sorry your going through that i know its hard.

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DUMP hiz ***! ..NOW!

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Im at work and the compuer doesnt let me reply. <br />
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I feel so sad for you. I bet you are miserable. Is your husband worth it? This is the only life you live and it sounds you are wasting it being unhappy soley because of your "husband" who treats you poorly. <br />
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Have you ever considered divorce? I know it sounds scary bevause you are unemployed. Do you have family members that can help you get on your feet if you leave him? <br />
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I always like to think like this: When I die, am I going to look at my life and think "I'm glad I did this.." or "I wish I did this.." ??<br />
Take care!

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I have thought of leaving him and divorce, but I have no where to go. We are in a little town in the middle of Ohio. I have no family left, my mom died 2 years ago and my brother a few months ago. I have a job but he takes all the money I make to pay bills with. I feel trapped.

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Sweetheart you know you deserve better than that

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You deserve more get out.. you shouldnt have to be in a relationship where your partners abusing you emotionally

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Waa :O that's not good

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You need to be nice to hubby while you get your exit plan together. The marriage is over and even if it wasnt, do you want to live that way? Work on your independence, right now he holds all the cards.

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Dump him

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What did you lie to him about?

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DIVORCE his *** I'm sorry you married him and I believe marriage is for life but in this case move on ASAP HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU HE'S STRINGING YOU ALONG.

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