My husband sets no boundaries for his narcissistic, lazy, disrespectful son who has never held a job for more than three weeks each year, is a pathological liar and a thief, but my husband allows this insane behavior and the ensuing fights over this 25 year old child is eroding my marriage and frankly, I'm losing respect for my husband. I raised a responsible, poised, lovely young woman by imposing and enforcing rules, instilling moral values and a strong work ethic. My husband refuses to take advice from me.
Colormedone Colormedone 46-50, F 6 Answers Jan 15, 2011

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I don't think it would be of much help to kick him out. But the question is if he is helping him in other ways? By trying to find a support group or a rehab facility or a job that he might like, etc...

Parents try their best when raising their kids. You can't say I raised my kid and now she's bright. Kids are different entities. My cousins were raised in the same household, one is a Doctor now and the second is a recovering addict. You can't blame the parents ALL the time. Be patient is my simple advice. Maybe you're giving him the most valuable thing he's ever received. Embracing him and trying to guide him to the right way.

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I would ask him "what would you like for your son?" nobody would say I want my son to be a lazy *** living with me 4ever. Most parents would say that they want to see their kids progress and mature.

So once he has established what he wants for him, ask him how can he support him in getting there.. how does the think that giving him everything will turn him into a responsible human being? His first answer might be anger, but let this thought sink in and help him to realize that helping others sometimes involves giving them a hard time to help them grow.

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I too am married to a man that continues to enable/cripple, his almost 24 year old child. So.....I had to decided to remove myself from a very dangerous lifestyle choice the two of them CHOOSE to feed off of. Constant drama, no boundaries, lot's of empty words, and quite frankly, an enviroment where there is no accountability, I was always made iut to be the problem, and for some unknown reason my spouse perceives himself as a person that should be fought over, and a trophy. Welp, While I do love this husband of mine, I had to decide that for my own health, I will not live like that anymore. The 24 year old, married, father of 1, and one on the way with a different female, continues to live like a piece of garbage, and daddy continues to say, "I'm done with him", and goes running everytime there is a" crisis". Very Sad when I actually think about it now. My husband is encouraging, his, "son" to drive him to an early grave and "Daddy" just wants to make sure the punk "gets everything" when he dies. I did myself an enourmous favor and got the hell out of a dangerous situation, not just for myself, but anyone near by when this toxic relationship explodes. I didn't groom the 24 year old, I will not fake support and understanding for the groomer, and I had to accept......I was not the problem, I do not add to it, and I am not the cure. Hope it helps you.......God Bless You!!!

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his son may suffer from a mental condition considering his delinquent behavior

maybe it's about time you ask for professional help

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