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My husband insists that when we go out for dinner, he must be the one to ask for the check. Is this normal?

Thank you to all who responded - perhaps asking if it is "normal" did not quite hit the mark. I guess from my perspective, it feels a bit demeaning - he points out that he pays the check, thus he should ask for it. It feels sexist to me - it is "our" money, if you will, eventhough I am a stay at home mom. He does not hold doors open for me, or stand when I sit at the table, or open the car door for me, or any of those other "traditional" niceties that would overall make this seem like part of his behavior. It is the public part of it - that others can see - not that he is doing something nice for ME. He is doing for himself. It feels controlling. I would love to read more comments!

Posted 1 year ago

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jtab4995

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Yes, it is normal. It is also normal not to care who asks for the check. It depends on the personality of the individual, of course. Your husband sounds like a traditional male
who probably holds the door for you, takes out the garbage while you do the dishes, etc.

It's important to know that there is a "range of normal behavior", not simply one type of behavior that is considered normal and renders everything else abnormal.

Posted 9 months ago

Other 7 Answers to My husband insists that when we go out for dinner, he must be the one to ask for the check. Is this normal?

Vermillion44863	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM He wants to feel like "the man". Pretty normal, he's just playing his male part. Same as when we ask men to kill bugs, open jars or open doors for us. It makes them feel good to know they're a hero in our eyes even momentarily. Least he's not asking to split the cheque! Rated: +1Vote for this!
JipC	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM Normal? Define normal! It is customary in polite society, traditional if you will. But then again many things are. Possibly he's just trying to show good manners. I'd ask you why it's an issue? Rated: +1Vote for this!
rusted	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM If the two of you are ok with it, then it's normal for you. Who cares what's "normal" for other people. Rated: +1Vote for this!
jerrica	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM you're lucky to have a man who takes you out to dinner and pays for it. i say enjoy it, after all he is your husband. why shouldn't he? Rated: +1Vote for this!
StudentofUnifying Life	Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM I think it's a silly thing to be particular about. Why not take turns treating each other? Rated: +1Vote for this!
Creamsicle	Posted Nov 3rd, 2008 at 5:13PM There is no such thing as normal. If he wants to ask for the check, let him. Every relationship is different. Rated: +1Vote for this!
lmg007	Posted Nov 3rd, 2008 at 5:13PM I believe what matters most is that your husband and you are able to both concede to the little things that are important to each other, irregardless of what someone else would do (much less the majority). It may be a simple old fashioned moral. If it matters to him than why not? The only reason it is an issue is if for some reason you Truly would like to ask for the check sometime. I am sure there are things that you also "insist" on...if your husbands respects your needs and you respect him... you are Better than normal! (Too many Normal married couples end up divorced) Rated: +1Vote for this!

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My husband insists that when we go out for dinner, he must be the one to ask for the check. Is this normal?

Other 7 Answers to My husband insists that when we go out for dinner, he must be the one to ask for the check. Is this normal?

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