I think you need to explore whether it is abandonment issues or insecurity. How is your sex life? There could be underlying trust issues that formed earlier in the relationship. Sometimes marriage makes men feel less manly, he may be worried he is not needed. Masculinity is fast becoming socially obsolete, thus leaving men searching for their place in society. Show him he can trust you, that you won't leave him by initiating the discussion and walking him through the scenerios he fears. You can also boost his ego a little or a lot, make him feel like a man again by assuming a more traditional female role. Remember, western society expects men to renounce their masculine, caveman instincts for a role that is counter intuitive to their dna, all while empowering female sexuality. To simplify, maybe you ought to act more like a woman, so he can act more like a man.

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No offense but so many women blindly endorse this gender equality fallacy only to complain later about their husbands lack of masculinity and self confidence.

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i work hes at home when i first met him it was the other way round i wouldlove him to worki even look for jobs he might do

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Well....after posting this , I can see why he is paranoid

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You are not responsible for your husband's feelings...only he is...his insecurity is his problem...not yours....

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So true!!!

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I would! Maybe he's not ready for a mature relationship at this time. He is clearly insecure and doesn't trust enough. He needs to let it go, and if he can't, its best to leave.

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My (now to be ex) husband was like that and I finally found out that he is the one doing those things. Check on him.

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I felt this way once.....it was when my self esteem was very low, has he considered therapy?

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I'm afraid your in a difficult situation. your husbands cheating has left a Mark on him.<br />
If he can't get past it your relationship has no future.

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