My husband is having an affair with a married woman - thus I left. Would you tell her husband or thank her?
my 18 year marriage has ended. This is my husbands 3rd affair. He is charming and very persuasive when he is getting his way. He is emotionally abusive and demanding when he is not. I forgave him affair 1 and 2- Affair 3 was the straw. He is very attractive and has a way with the women; his story is always the same (he is the poor, misunderstood guy who just needs love...and its always someone else's fault.
Her family is beautiful; 4 kids and what appears to be a wonderful husband. I think my husband has "reeled her in" - I know he did with me (and the last 2 women he cheated on me with).
On the other hand, what kind of woman cheats on her husband with another woman''s man? what would you do - Thank her, do nothing, or tell her hubby (poor schmuck).
7 Answers to "My husband is having an affair with a married woman - thus I left. Would you tell her husband or thank her?"
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If I was the woman being cheated upon, I would hope someone would respect the sanctity of my marriage and think enough of me as a person to be honest with me.
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I actually found out he was cheating on me from a mutual friend (mine and his mistress) who felt really bad about the situation. She warned me and gave enough details that I could "corner" him. I actually called the mistress and we both cried. I left him for awhile, but he went to cousnelling and poured the charm - which I fell for. I was grateful our mutual friend told me.
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Do nothing! She will find out in her own time your ex is scumbag numero-uno.
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Thank her, you have now realised you deserve better than he is willing to give you! Move on and up i say!
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There are moments of absolute clarity when I know this is the a good thing for me - I would have stayed in an unhappy situation if she hadn't have come along. I also know that he would not have let go without something else to focus his attention on. so from this perspective I am truly grateful to her...its like a wake up call or something.
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You desreve better than that, sounds like he is a real charmer, and has obviously got her at a bad moment in her marrige, who knows her husband might be a real a--hole to her behind close doors, and your ex has come along and put on the charm. He will cheat again, sounds like he has a problem with being with just one women! You Go Girl!, Im a single mum in my late 30's I love it , I can do what I want, when I want, How I want,and I dont have anyone putting me down, or abusing me, or accusing me. Happy days ahead for you. Power to the women I say!
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My husband fell in love with a married woman last year. I figured it out and made him confess and we nearly divorced over it. I still consider leaving him over it sometimes.. She was his coworker and our baby sitter.. He swears he never did anything with her. and I'm not sure what to believe. I spoke to her myself about it and asked her questions and she said the same. That they never did anything and basically told me she loved him back and was waiting for his next move to leave me. I was pissed. I wanted to tell her so husband so bad..
She's double my age. 40 some years old. Grandmother, grown children... oh I was so mad. hurt, sad, and mad. He ended things with her.. cut her off completely... she quit her job over it... and moved away..
I regret never telling her husband.. as much as I wanted to... if it was me.. I would want to know.
but who knows.. maybe it's a good thing. :[Like (2)
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I think what bugs me is that she gets to have her cake and my cake. What has stopped so far is her beautiful babies. I wouldn't want to be responsible for hurting them.
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I totally understand! that's what I tell my husband.. he got to taste his cake and still keep his cake.. some bullsh1t. lol. that's very cool of you to think of her children. .. see I wanted to tell on her because her children were adults. so .. I didn't care about how they might feel.
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were you and your husband both single when you met? ... just curious
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yes..I had been single for 4 years.....he was single for over a year when we started dating.
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I would do nothing , I would be angry at her but it is not my place to tell her husband .
I wouldn't give the woman the time of day personally .
She'll pay for it in the end .Like (1)
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do you think so? Is there justice? sometimes I ask god how it is that some people can be so vile...and then I remember its not my place to judge...
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by LadyofDreams Jan 26th, 2012 at 12:50AM
I would say, do nothing. You've left your husband because of his infidelities. That's your responsibility to yourself and to your children, if you have any.
Informing the other woman's husband that she's cheating on him with your husband will potentially destroy two families. Your husband has already done that to your family.
In my opinion, you can't be responsible for someone else's actions, only your own, and how you react to their actions. That being said, take care of you, take care of your family; you did the best thing, I think, in leaving him, what with the abuse and the repeated cheating.
Move on with your life, get far away from him, and be *safe*. That should be your greatest priority, especially since he's abusive.
Good luck.
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Reply by movingonjm Jan 26th, 2012 at 1:00AM
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