You won't want to hear me say this, but the answer is "Yes, he can be in love with someone he hasn't actually met". He can have flallen in love with her through communicating with her very regularly. Communication is often seen as the keystone of relationships, yet when it occurs long distance (by email, text, etc.) people tend to discount it . . . ??<br />
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Whether their relationship could withstand being together all the time is not yet clear. But I suspect if he has got to the point of telling you he is in love with her, he does not have any real inclination to make your marriage work. You have my sympathy.

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He is not in love with her like he thinks. He is IN LOVE with the fantasy of what it would be like in his mind to be with her. He does not know her bad habits in real life. etc.

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he could be looking for a way out. If you two are happy, try to work things out. If you two aren't happy, let him go. As far as your kids are concerned, the best thing you can ever show them is what happiness looks like. Sometimes after parents split, they become truly happy. Don't stay together for the kids. <br />
Maybe you should ask yourself why you are hanging on to someone who would cheat on you, tell you about it, and show little remorse. Not to mention insult you by telling you his is 'in love' with someone else.

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No, I don't feel it's possible to love someone you have never met. I do believe you can become deeply infatuated with someone but that is a very different emotion (powerful but different) similar to the 'young crush' you might have felt for your first boyfriend. Did you love him? Probably not. I would suggest (as others have) that you go to some form of marriage counseling and maybe he'll start to get a clearer picture of his true emotions in this matter.

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Time for couples therapy.

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Mental adultery is as bad as physical adultery.<br />
The more you think, the more you will find efficient and loving ways to wake him up. Good education for children is also a pleasant attraction to him.

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He might think it's real.<br />
Do you want to stay married?<br />
Does he want to stay married?<br />
Do you care if he has a long distance relationship with her?<br />
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Looks like it's time to see a counselor. I'd bet that the counselor will say that he has to break off contact with her if he wants to work on his marriage.<br />
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Good luck.<br />
retrouvaille.org helped me and my wife

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That's a man for ya. Dump him, all men are worthless creeps anyway. I know, I married one of those foul creatures.

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Let him have a go at it. You can't stop him and it will make things worse. time will tell. I doubt if they last long at all.I am sorry for you, take care.

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Wow. That's not good. I don't think you can change what he feels, but let's hope she has a unibrow and wears a size 24! Just kidding...but the only advice I can offer is to just keep talking. Sometimes, especially with children, the best you can do is find a way to maintain respect for each other, even if that means dissolving the relationship. So, just keep talking...and keep listening. Good luck! *hugs*

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I suggest you stop playing a mind reader and let the man go on about his business. If he makes a mistake then it's HIS mistake to make. Trying to keep him where he doesn't want to be will only cause more resentment and push him more towards the other woman. You should begin making your own plans for your and your childrens future without him because the marriage is over already. The family unit isn't important to him or he wouldn't have gone elsewhere for attention and acceptance. Get a divorce. He doesn't want you anymore.

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I'm just beginning to realize that myself....No...be selfish...Do you..he certainly did..This is your life..all the bullshit around you may not even be real....This may be the only life you ever live....if your not enough...**** him...I also have babies and huge obstacles...but I'm going to use him and my time to better myself..to make me strong enough to just not care.....I hope his model turns out to be a 600 pnd man

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Maybe you could move to the other side of the country and see if he falls in love with you too?

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