get a hand held tazer, they work great,

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kick him in the nuts, that should send the message

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Grab him by the fundamental orapus and give it a few good jerks until he cries for his mama..lol

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a well placed knee will get the point across and have im walking funny for the rest of the week and flinching for even longer.

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A person should NOT stay and continue to experience abusive behavior along with refusing to listen and respond to simple requests. Reading your responses to the answers so far, it sounds like you want to leave. Report him to the police and Do it. At the very least, it will show how serious you are.

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wow he's like torturing you and he knows your terrified of it. what a jack.........leave him for awhile, move out, then he'll realize your serious.

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seriously...your husband sounds abusive. Anyone who would hold you down against your will, doesn't have your best interests at heart. It doesn't take telling someone 100's of times. You should get away from him. If explaining doesn't work, he's not trying to understand. Your explanation here seems perfectly clear so one can't say that you're unable to be clear.

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True I just feel like I have wasted 10 years. And we have 3 children together, I've been holding on for them

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do you want them to learn to treat other people the way you husband treats you? Having watched this sort of behavior where their father doesn't respect even their own mom's boundaries is not going to help their future relationships. If you can't make him understand something this simple, I can't imagine how understanding he could possibly be to his children's emotional needs. you should never stay for the children in this sort of scenario. How is it better to waste 25 years than ten? It's been ten years and he can't understand that you don't want to be pined! Seriously, you have to be realistic about his chances of changing and they're negligible...unless maybe he was will too go to counseling too as it sounds as if he needs it.

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He wont go I ve tried . The kids are in bed when he does this ( not that it makes it any better) I get what your saying. I have left twice before. I just know what is ahead of me and I am not looking forward to being a single parent and him never seeing the kids.

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if he does this to you in private... I'd bet there are signs he's like this to the children. People always think because they don't do things in front of the children that they aren't effected. You maybe right and he only likes to disrespect you privately...but I bet more than likely other people have witnesses his disdain for your opinions. You just don't act like that toward someone you actually respect. If he can't be bothered to see his kids when you breakup that's his own failing. A good father doesn't ditch his children just because he's not with their mother.

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Very true thank you for the advise

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Advice*

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Have you told him what happened in the rape, and how it continues to haunt you to this day?

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Yes he knows.

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All the details or just that it happened? If he does know all the details, try telling him you need to be able to think of him as your hero, the guy who will protect you if anything ever happens again. Tell him when he holds you down like that, you have trouble thinking of him that way.

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He knows everything. I will try that thank you

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I hope it helps.

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Kick his butt! We men sometimes can't get certain things in our heads unless it gets pounded in. In your case it's EXTREMELY important that he not pin you down. However, in his mister fix-it kind of way, he might be trying to get you to forget about your rape. We men can be weird in that way at times. It looks like it's backfiring, though.<br />
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How about this, let him pin you down as he usually does, but ask him to do it more gently or hold you more loosely so that you can escape at any moment. He seems like the playful type and wrestling is sometimes sexually stimulating for the man. Out of respect for you, though, he should be very careful how he does it. It's important that you not feel threatened or reminded of your assault, yet let him play with you. Something not so intense as he's been doing, yet a pin-down that he can enjoy doing while maintaining it in a playful tone so that you can feel okay with it.<br />
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Maybe have him agree to a pin down for one second, and then he release you instantly? That way he gets to pin you down (sounds like he has brothers) without you being reminded of a bad time. Would that work?<br />
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Another thought. Maybe he's doing it so that you can learn how to escape? Maybe if you ever get attacked again, you won't panic and will be able to defend yourself. That might be his angle. I don't know, just throwing ideas out.

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He's likes when I take charge. He just does this to be funny and sometimes to be mean.

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Hmm, then try telling him in a different way. Play dead whenever he pins you, that would take the fun out of it for him. Take martial arts classes so that he can no longer succeed at pinning you down. He'll soon give up after that. Deny him of sex for 24 hours every time he pins you. I don't know about him but I'd stop at this very instant and never do it again if you told me that.

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Also, him pinning you all the time isn't helping you to forget your past episode. Maybe if he could finally get it into his skull that his wrestling is costing him two therapy sessions per month, he might be motivated to stop. He really should treat you like the angel you are. Gentlmen should never get rough with a lady. It's too bad that he's not like me. I'd adore you all the time, never get rough (unless you begged me to).

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Thats hard to do I go into survival mode I once hit him without thinking just to get him off. Which escalated to a huge arguement.

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Then maybe a divorce is in order here? There are men who will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

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Thats just nasty! surely you should have only had to tell him once!!! I must be missing something here. my advice hmmm pillow over his head while he is sleeping?

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Lol I would but He's not worth prison time!

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If that was me every time he would do that just say no not now and if that doesnt work then u may have to kick him if its the only thing left to do then u gotta do

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