My husband told me he was raped and hasn't had sex with me in years, he won't go to therapy, how do I cope?
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8 Answers to "My husband told me he was raped and hasn't had sex with me in years, he won't go to therapy, how do I cope?"
Posted by Conaie Apr 19th, 2012 at 5:26PM
i think thats an excuse. He probably has turned gay or battling with the idea. Check to see if he still wants this relationship before beating up on your self. It seems like he doesnt like vagina OR yours.
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Posted by MmmBabi Apr 19th, 2012 at 4:38PM
I think you should get yourself into counseling to help you with his refusal to seek help. A therapist could help you with coping strategies and hopefully he would eventually be able to get the helps that he needs.
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Posted by denabob Nov 7th, 2012 at 9:13AM
I went through a time where everything in my new wonderful relationship was going good. Then It happened, the horriable truths of my childhood sexual abuses came out of hiding. I remembered everything. I could no longer have sex. Or when I did or (do) the memories flood me like a titlewave. I have gone through christian studies with Beth Moore and they have helped me come to terms with all of this. I still have issues and probably will. But I am learning to stay focused on my husband and God during sex. Knowing that God created sex for married couples and asking Jesus to give me the desire for my husband. It helps, it is still a struggle and always will be, but it is becoming managable and more enjoyable too. Something I will always have to work on. Maybe there is a christian study out there for men as well. I have been in Beth Moore bible studies for about 10 years now. With God, all things are possiable.
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Posted by babysgma Aug 17th, 2012 at 7:56PM
I am assuming that he was raped BEFORE you got married? No, sex is not everything but it is an integral part of a healthy marriage. It is not selfish to want a loving relationship you can express physically. To me, he is selfish for not wanting to at least try to get help. It sounds a little like false advertising for him to have married you with these issues.
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Posted by Blessedbeauty27 Apr 19th, 2012 at 4:38PM
Wow!!! I'm very sorry about your situation. You definetely need to do what's best for you!! Maybe you should enroll in some classes, fill your day with extra activities so that you won't think about it so much.
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Posted by giftsfromthebeach Apr 19th, 2012 at 4:38PM
How does he cope!
On balance your lack of sex is is a miniscule problem compared to him being raped. Do him a favour and leave him. You seem very selfish. Or you could support him and use a vibrator to get rid of your sexual frustration.
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Reply by jeanemae Apr 19th, 2012 at 4:43PM
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Posted by rickibrat2 Apr 19th, 2012 at 4:37PM
then find others he wil talk too you both have to understand what happened in the past and you can work tought iy with baby steps
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Posted by Momamoo Apr 19th, 2012 at 4:36PM
I've had sex with my husband 3 times in 7 years - since he found out he was infertile. He won't get counselling - you totally have my sympathy. I'd leave him but we adopted and at the moment I think him being there is better for my daughter than not. (there are other issues too not just the sex). Love and hugs from me to you xxx
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