I am assuming that he was raped BEFORE you got married? No, sex is not everything but it is an integral part of a healthy marriage. It is not selfish to want a loving relationship you can express physically. To me, he is selfish for not wanting to at least try to get help. It sounds a little like false advertising for him to have married you with these issues.

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i think thats an excuse. He probably has turned gay or battling with the idea. Check to see if he still wants this relationship before beating up on your self. It seems like he doesnt like vagina OR yours.

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Its interesting to observe all the anger and frustration vented toward the husband in this scenario where he is ostensibly the victim. I was raped many years ago and ran into the same attitude when i tried to get help, primarily from women. I saw therapists but the best help I got was from my peers in drug rehab and also from a websire for survivors of male sexual abuse.

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I went through a time where everything in my new wonderful relationship was going good. Then It happened, the horriable truths of my childhood sexual abuses came out of hiding. I remembered everything. I could no longer have sex. Or when I did or (do) the memories flood me like a titlewave. I have gone through christian studies with Beth Moore and they have helped me come to terms with all of this. I still have issues and probably will. But I am learning to stay focused on my husband and God during sex. Knowing that God created sex for married couples and asking Jesus to give me the desire for my husband. It helps, it is still a struggle and always will be, but it is becoming managable and more enjoyable too. Something I will always have to work on. Maybe there is a christian study out there for men as well. I have been in Beth Moore bible studies for about 10 years now. With God, all things are possiable.

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Wow!!! I'm very sorry about your situation. You definetely need to do what's best for you!! Maybe you should enroll in some classes, fill your day with extra activities so that you won't think about it so much.

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How does he cope!<br />
<br />
On balance your lack of sex is is a miniscule problem compared to him being raped. Do him a favour and leave him. You seem very selfish. Or you could support him and use a vibrator to get rid of your sexual frustration.

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I think that's unfair. She clearly wants to work through this...and to act as if wanting a s'x life is selfish...shows a lack of understanding on your part...not hers.

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then find others he wil talk too you both have to understand what happened in the past and you can work tought iy with baby steps

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I've had sex with my husband 3 times in 7 years - since he found out he was infertile. He won't get counselling - you totally have my sympathy. I'd leave him but we adopted and at the moment I think him being there is better for my daughter than not. (there are other issues too not just the sex). Love and hugs from me to you xxx

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take your loadto the lord, he carries heavy burdens and he will give you rest, solutions, and work it out for your best. mat 11

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Can't say for sure, but I guess it is a lye.
Could it be impotence, an affair, else?? Impotence is a real possibility. Possible reason: Diabetes

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Learn to play with toys

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Support him

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Tell him you need for him to have sex with you or:<br />
You will have sex with someone else and stay married.<br />
You will leave him.

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It's not fair this is all on you. He really needs help. Even if you have to force it upon him. :(

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Communication , you must make him feel comfortable and he must heal from the experience x

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