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Momamoo Momamoo 51-55, F 12 Answers Dec 31, 2012 in Marriage

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its totally ok to be angry. The fact is you are angry... so there can never be anything wrong with how you feel. Its just the truth.

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I think couple's counseling is REALLY in order.<br />
<br />
I think his untreated depression is going to cause you to end the marriage if he doesn't do something about it, and he needs to know that in NO uncertain terms.<br />
It is perfectly reasonable to say that the only way you are going to remain married to him is if he gets therapy and psychiatric treatment.<br />
<br />
Yes, give him a deadline by which he has to be in compliance with treatment.<br />
Yes, this means you have to go ahead and start the divorce ball rolling if he doesn't do anything by the deadline you have set...<br />
I would quietly set up your own bank account and start putting money in it, keeping close track of finances if you don't already, and have consulted with an attorney prior to issuing your ultimatum.<br />
<br />
I know that sounds harsh, but your quality of life is really slipping, to the point that you can't continue to be happy with him as he is. <br />
You're just about burnt out now, right?

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Sad to say you're right :-(:-(

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Well I think the reason why he didn't bother is important but if there was no real reason then I think you have every right to be upset, I know I would if my guy just didn't bother.

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Thanks...he just can't be bothered !! Getsdexpressed and won't get help Xxx

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Best New Year's gift you could give him is some help.<br />
For the family and your relationship.<br />
Right now your testing us to see what we think, well first what is at the bottom of his deppression and is he taking any medication for it.<br />
If not why not.<br />
He helped make the kid's does he not realize that you turn around and in a minute they are grown up and gone.<br />
I hope your good at talking cause right now is a good time.<br />
Cheers

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Thanks -you're right just so hard to do... Xxx

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I'm getting pissed at this moment for the same reason.

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So sorry to hear that. Xxx

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It sounds like he is really selfish and self -centered. As parents, we have to provide our children with stability and that includes emotional stability. I am sad to hear that children have to suffer because of immaturity.

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Thin you've hit the nail on the head here!! Xxx

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He sounds like my husband, before we had the talk about how our children are effected by his moods. Lot's of people suffer from depression, it is a disease. However, it does not give you the freedom to mistreat others. If it is bad, he should do something about and not be a victim in his own life.

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So very true -but he just says it's my fault -that I don't understand himXxx

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who says it mandatory to acknowledge new year or any other celebration for that matter? He was miserable, you weren't..that's life..maybe he just wasn't buying into all the hype.

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It's very important to me...surely that's sufficient and he should support me? I did all the preparation including buying all the food, fireworks, party peppers etc. In my opinion not a lot to ask!!Xxx

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support is often something that you don't get from others for whatever reasons..as i said..that's life..he can't give what he doesn't have. I understand you're angry. But as i said..he can't give what he doesn't have. I hope you and the kids enjoyed all your effort.

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They did but I was hurting inside. Our daughter varies between trying to get him to join in and telling him off for being a party pooper and he should stop spoiling our fun. As they get older it's going to get harder and I don't want them as unable to have fun as him. Xxx

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they may understand, kids are pretty clever, maybe the secret is not to make a big fuss of his reluctance to celebrate..then it won't leave a lasting negative impression on your kids.

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I don't in front of them...but no matter how I try I can't get past feeling that we're not valued by him and that he'd rather we went away...Xxx

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funny that...i get the same feelings about my father, he avoids a lot of family things..and it doesn't matter how old i get..it still hurts.

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Xxx

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