Before I was married, my husband told me that I needed to provide for myself and not to depend on him for anything. He lost his job and now depends on me for everything, not contributing to much at all other than $200 to rent and doing the laundry and feeding the dog and taking care of trash. He went back to school for another credential and isn't finishing it because it isn't his dream job. He charges on his credit all the time for him and won't help with bills.
I feel your pain. My bf has been living with me for almost 7 years. He works off and on with a seasonal job when ever his boss feels like calling him. My bf will not go out and get a real job that is stable. When he does work it's all comic books and thrift store junk. Our place is becoming packed full of useless mess. When I worked he blamed me for not being able to pay all the bills and said I was giving my money away. I worked the same job for 6 years. I recently had to quit almost 3 months ago because he refused to help save up money for when I had to take maternity leave for a complicated c-section. He worked few days while I was out and spend it on junk. He would cry to his mother when bills needed to be paid or when we needed gas money, but yet he has money in his pocket and lies to his mother about it. After she pays a bill he goes thrift store shopping. I've been all over him about finances since I had been pregnant. He does not care. Now our baby is 3 months. Our electricity almost turned off until he cried to his mom and then told her I would pay her back with my taxes. Reason I no longer work right now is because I had to quit to take my retirement out to pay rent so I we would not be homeless with a newborn baby. Now I am fighting to get my job back while looking for something else. He worked 3 days out of the past two months and spent the money on junk instead of paying the electricity when it was most needed.Tonight I told him I will leave, but yet he tells me I'm controlling because I'm telling him how to spend his money. I don't feel loved. I feel a shamed and broken. I have no where to go but a shelter. I have no money. I don't know what else to do. I'm over the bull and I'm over being blamed and not understood. I thought men were suppose to help their women and help take care of the baby. I spend 95 % of the time with our baby. I can tell she loves me more as she always stares at me and not at him. The time he takes care of her is only when he holds her while he watches tv and sometimes feeds her. When she tries to coo at him he pays more attention to the tv rather than talking back to her. I'm done with this relationship. He's a freeloader and is now becoming a hoarder. He tells me it's either he drinks and parties or buys comics and spends at thrifts. When he drank he was violent. I had him locked up for a month. I should have left him them.
My husband is the same way- he is bi-polar- manic depressive with violent tendencies and paranoid about everything. He has been broke since the day I met him and all he does is mooch and manipulate everyone around him- his family always bails him out of his screw ups ad won't tell him to grow up- he is perpetually 6 or 16 and that's it- I can ask him nicely to register for classes and he gets ****** with me and starts attacking me- he has lawsuits and warrants for bad checks and makes his grama pay them off- he is the biggest loser- but I can't leave him because I have animals and they are my whole life- I have no where to go - no money(thanks to him) no job- thanks to him- horrible credit - thanks to him- and he moved me away from my family so I can't get help. He is an abisive and violent person and has tried to kill me and my animals and is constantly threatenig me or them- he has already killed two of them and told me I was next. I have no options- just waiting for death.
What a dead beat! I just kicked my boyfriend out of my house. He has been living with me for eight months and has not contributed to the bills! This is not fair! It is disgusting! The man should be a man and not make the woman responsible for his life! He is taking advantage of you in such a way that it is definitely grounds for divorce! If you have expressed that this is not ok with you and is actually causing you great stress and he STILL does nothing about it, then he REALLY does not care in the slightest! Is this how you envision your life ten years from now? Who does he think he is anyway? No one deserves to be treated like this. I don't care if you are married or not married! Marriage is not a free for all license to freeload off of your partner. If this man cared for you the way a husband and mate are supposed to care for you, he would do the self-respecting thing, he would contribute his fair share if not offer to take care of you! This is not right! It is not honest! It is not caring and if you say that he is just not bothered by this at all, then he sounds as if he has no remorse or conscience what so ever. I have seen men like this. I have seen women like this. They are equally vile and disgusting! No one gets a free ride in life. Why there are people out there who think that they are the exception is beyond me! People like this target people who are nice and trusting and who can provide a good life for them without them having to lift a finger. Ok, I have a friend who married a man who was very charming to her in the beginning. As their relationship progressed, he did less and less around the house. He paid less and less bills and left her holding the bag on every occasion. They had two children together. She did not want children. He did and he convinced her to have them. Now, she absolutely loves her children and has no regrets about having them. He on the other hand racks up credit card bills for her to pay, doesn't pay for their school, goes out partying as often, weekly, as he can and spends a lot of money on partying, leaving her to scrap together money to feed and clothe their children and she is constantly running around working her rear end off making ends meet, borrowing money from family and friends who have long since grown tired of it, he never lifts a finger to clean anything around the house and he has little interest in playing with his kids or helping out with them, except to play occasionally with them for short periods of time and SHE is left holding the bag in regards to EVERYTHING! She looks haggard, is depressed, extremely unhappy and she feels trapped! She used to be a model that had all the confidence in the world! You would NEVER believe it now by looking at her!!! He has selfishly sucked the life out of her with every selfish desire he has had. It is too gross to look at! If a man doesn't want to help with the basics, what makes you think he will be there for the important t
What does he do, if anything around the house? How does he spend his time?
why would he change he has it all. why would he get defensive? he dosent want the present arrangements to change.he wants to wake every morning to the same forever. but, im sorry he wont get his wish. one day he will wake and be very unprepared for the life that he will find. you will get tired of this....lets face it you already are. and at least you will be better prepared to support yourself given that you do already and another!if this man hasnt grown up then he has no right to you. he has things to learn about himself and so have you. your going to be ok if you decided to let him him go. you do not need to support another he is not your son,but he may as well be. let this guy find out for himself the world and you owe him nothing. choose a better life for yourself without him,you will be suprised to find how CAPABLE you are
I'm right there with you. Getting ready to go to work myself. Aside from struggling with the bills, EVERYTHING wrong is always my fault. Get out while you're young, if he's like mine, you will never be happy unless you do. Good luck :)
leave him. he is not a good partner if he is not willing to contribute.
It seems you are the one who has not grown up
kick him out or in the a/s/s
no communication means no love
well than you just need to divorce that *******! and find your self a true man!
my bf of almost 3 yrs is the same way, he watches my 2 kids so he always throwes the fact that he saves me 800 a month in childcare he shouldn't have to pay for rent and electric. i told him he lives here and only fair he should help contribute. he says he should only have to pay 1/4 rent and 1/4 electric.. im just thinking REALLY? anytime we go out to eat, i foot the bill. our 3 year anniversary is coming up in December. i had to pay for our hotel room, ill probably have to pay for our dinner that night too, and what shocks me the most is that i have known him since high school i think his ex wife really screwed him up and now i get stuck cleaning her mess. i tell him instead of getting online playing his computer games he should be looking for full time work i understand it's hard to find work, but if you aren't even trying then you will never find it. i don't think he wants to work. i told him what would he tell his landlord if he got his own place? that seeing he is only there 1/4 of the time that he should only have to pay 1/4 of the rent? unfortunately it will take us having to break up before he gets a full time job unless he goes to live with his mommie and daddy again. any way, i know the feeling how dare we should ask them to pay their fair share. i know men love to think it is a man's world, they are so stupid to open up their eyes and realize that half the women these days are the bread winners... so move over it's a womans world...PATHETIC