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When he first told me, I thought he didn't love me anymore. I realize that it's just a fantasy now but I still don't understand why he would want to see me with another man. Can anyone help?
OneLittleKitten OneLittleKitten 31-35, F 11 Answers Feb 17, 2009

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It sounds crazy, but it's about your satisfaction. I share this fantasy with my own wife, but have not acted on it. For me it's a turnon to have a wife who is very slutty and into her own sexuality. My wife is very subdued at least in my opinion. She says she can't satisfy herself through ************, which as a guy I find hard to believe. Again just fantasy, but if she were to go our without me, I would like her to sleep around but not find satisfaction. This would bring her home to me even hornier than when she left. If she were to find satisfaction, I would want to be there to see her experience the pleasure. I love satisfying her, and the more I can please her, the happier it make me. I may be completely wrong, but I believe or fantasize that her innermost desire would be to be had by multiple men one after another. I think she would want to be filled to the rim. I would love to give this to her. Now back to the real world with diseases and real life pressures, I would never expect this to happen...but again its just fantasy. <br />
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The other thing that might help you understand this better is to think about your husband with someone else which you control. Someone he doesn't know, or a ******** you hired. At least in our case my wife shares this fantasy with having me sleep with another woman. It usually sends her over the edge in bed if I start talking about what I would like to do to another woman. She gets aroused by the thought of me becoming overwhelmed with animal like desires. What scares the heck out of her is losing me to the other woman. So in her fantasy she hires the ******** or controls who I am allowed to be with . He controls my arousal and satisfaction. For her it's a control fantasy.

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Some guys have a cuckhold fetish... its a kind of submissiveness where you are being "take" by another man and he is helpless. I don't fully get the concept myself and I don't know if these are your husbands motives or not. Lilianne's suggest is the other scenario I was thinking; he may hold you in such high regard that by sharing you he is showing people how desirable, sexual, and great you are. <br />
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Also, sharing and swinging is a lifestyle that isn't for everyone. Sometimes it's better as a fantasy and shouldn't go farther. Sit down with your hubby and ask him why sharing you is important to you. But you are under no obligation to do this. Maybe a comprimise is you to pretend you had an encounter and whisper it into his ear. That may be enough for him... but without knowing his kink its hard to say.<br />
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Good luck, but above all don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.

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It can be very complex, but the turn on for the husband can be related to his own guilt for screwing around, thus allowing or even encouraging you can be a sort of balancing act which relives his hidden guilt. The actual extreme sexual turn on for him is his realization that you are pleasing another man. That too can be complicated, but it's hard to envision more details for such uncontrollable emotion. The only person I've ever met who tried to explain his own wife sharing was a man with a physical problem. He said he just wanted to have his wife 'pleasured', but I'm sure it was more complex. Meanwhile, others that I have participated in ********** claimed it was just all part of 'swinging'. I'm guessing that sharing a spouse is an important component to the general 'swinging lifestyle' I'll be curious to read the opinions of others.

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It s fun

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my husband has been sharing me sexually for about 8 years now on and off with a few breaks. I love irt, he loves it and our sexual life has never been so good. INTENSE, FREQUENT (we have sex every day), and far better than most of the "straight/normal" people I know

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I think what your husband wants is to see you as a very beautiful sexy woman who is very desired by him and needs you to share this experience with other men to make this fantasy to reality thus confusing his Fantasy with reality . Use this fantasy to elevate your sex life with him talk about this fantasy during love making , that what he needs to talk about ....Do not make reality

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No, I can't understand although I don't think it is an uncommon fantasy. The thought of watching you might really turn him on. Sorry no help.

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