MY girlfriend was involved with with man for 15 years, 2 children no marriage. Relationship was broken up by his infidelities. During her years after the breakup she has admitted to me to having 10 one night stands(in two years) in which 2 short relationships emerged of less than 3 months and another of less than two years, to a man 10 years younger than she. All of her relationships were one night stands and were with younger men. My question is can she remain satisfied in a monogamous relationship to a much older man, or would a more open one be appropriate. Loosing her is not an option (been together 3 years), I would rather share her if necessary.
redhotrose2357 redhotrose2357 51-55, M 4 Answers Feb 11, 2013 in Marriage

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you deserve what you agree to. as long as you both communicate what your need and values are then you can involve as many or as few people you both agree to. However if they have always cheated then expect the same behavior and if you believe in giving in to accommodate another persons priorities that's a reflection on you.

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Hmmm. . . Brace yourself. Do whatever makes you happy. I think she is not about to change either. Not for now or the near future either. Especially how you're giving her the freedom. Otherwise you'd need something big enough to make her turn around and put things to your wishes.

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If you are that open, I don't think you have to worry at all. She might stray now and then, but the freedom that she gets from you will ensure that she will always want to be with you.

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If i tell you the truth.....would you listen and at least consider the words that i say?

In a relationship of any type you both have to sit down and talk (think) about what is best for group. If you say what the you think the other wants to hear instead of saying how you truly feel then you are doomed to fail.

From the way it sounds she is hurting because of the infidelities. She may or may not know why she does the things she do.

In either case it's your choice on how you respond. My ex-wife and I started off as being swingers. As we got older and my 4 children came in to the picture i wanted a different life style. My ex didn't want to give the swinger life up. It was years before i found out she was still in it. At the point i had to make a choice. First and most important i had to get my self together and do things that were beneficial to my health and well being. That meant leaving someone i love. I still do love my ex-wife and wish her the best and infidelity is something she's still into with her and her current live with boyfriend. But that was my choice and I did what was best. Somewhere along the lines you will have to ask your self the same questions. And when you do i just hope you have the courage to think about all the things that could possible happen and make the best choice for all parties involved.

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