If you feel you can't handle things on your own, it might benefit you to see someone. Until you and your mom can make arrangements, keep seeing the school psychologist as she may even be able to help you present the question to your mom. She will also be able to help you make the transition into trusting the potential therapist. And if you do end up seeing someone regularly, remember that not everyone clicks at first. You might not like the first professional you try out. It could take a little "shopping around"
First, take full responsibility for yourself and your own decisions and actions. There is nothing that you can do that you haven't chosen to do. There is no "magic" that going to a therapist will do, if you don't take control of yourself and learn to combat your own demons. Life can influence you in many ways, but what is going on inside you is a lot about how you handle your emotions and choose to respond to life. It also has a lot to do with just how much you allow life to shape who you are. So much of that is about perspective, hope, and choice. <br />
That being said, I'd go to my doctor and perhaps get a referral to a psychiatrist who would accept my insurance. If that didn't work, then I'd call the local healthy department to see if there were any programs that I might be able to access. Barring that, I would contact some of the local churches to see if any of them offer counselling of any sort, depending on what your particular problem is. There may be a local agency, like the YMCA, that could offer some sort of youth counselling. Even the local police agency might be able to steer you toward possible resources.<br />
For me, reading books on whatever I'm dealing with helps much more than a therapist ever did. But it's a matter of going to the library and looking up depression or whatever it is that you are wrestling with, and understanding it. Books have helped me make it through some very hard times when nothing else was working. I also think that there is a lot to be said for having a friend to talk to, or even keeping a journal to vent in when things get to a certain level. I also believe in God, and it is very comforting to me to say, "God, I'm losing it here. Please help me do the right thing." As a mom, I find I have to do that pretty often now. <br />
I hope you get through this time and that you can get the help that you need.
That's the key, I suppose. Controlling the impulse and holding yourself accountable. Perhaps trying to figure out why the behavior is wrong and coming to see the wrong as distasteful and uncomfortable, so that it is easier to avoid. I think that is where hope lies. Not just for you, but for all people who find that they have certain urges that aren't compatible with the good.
i) Take your mother to the therapist and tell her (the therapist) what you just wrote here. Your mother won't be able to back away, and if she ridicules you to your family for it, you'll be ready to rebuke: "the freaking psychologist wanted me to see another therapist, not me! At least one of us is getting a laugh out of it, cause I sure don't think it's funny. You do know what therapy means, right?"<br />
I can tell you're too old to do what I just said, but if you really want to, two of either things will happen: either your mom will have to do as the school psychologist says, or the school therapist will understand why you cannot do it, without you having to explain it first. She will see it happen in front of her eyes, and will have to deal with your inability without you having to spell it out loud. Try to see if you can arrange this, otherwise...<br />
ii) Tell the school therapist and ask her if there is any way to bypass your mother without you having to pay what the insurance cannot cover. If she has no answer then you can only tell your mother and/or not do any external counseling.<br />
That's, I think, all the advice I can give mate.
She would find out eventually, no? Besides, she may raise hell, but she's still your mother (I hope XD). If she realizes you need it, it won't matter one bit in the end, I hope. Besides... even if she DOES raise hell, you'll be seeing another therapist who'll be happy to hear all about it ;D I'm kidding, I hope it won't be that bad...
That bad, huh? Other than you becoming economically independent (i.e. get a job), I don't see how you can bypass your mother. I'd tell you to check if the health thingie won't intervene in extraordinary circumstances (perhaps ask the school psychologist to find out after you explain how things stand and without having your mother find out...) but I guess you're in the States, where if your insurance doesn't cover reattaching fingers, fingers won't get reattached so, that's probably a no-no too. I wish I could help more...
I hope it turns out alright, wish you the best! (and don't hesitate to ask ;)
It sucks. Explain to the school therapist, what will happen if you mention it to your mother. Your mother and family need mental help, for treating their young daughter that way. Don't go the family route, humiliation will happen. Find a private option if you can. If you were my daughter, I would welcome and pay for any help you want. Most stand up parents would.
Feel bad for you, adults are there to help the younger people. They should be ashamed, no excuse for them, on this one.
Crazy no, you're rational and mature. You are the one with a brain and common sense.
Good, you'll be fine, you have a brain. Good luck to you...
You ask the therapist to contact your mother directly.
Can you go to your dad? Do you have other family members you can trust. If she feels you need to see someone you'd better take it seriously.
Did you tell the psychologist about why you don't want to ask your mom? If you haven't, you should because she might have access/information to places that can help with $. You should also tell what you think your mother will say. It's possible she would tell your mom for you. You could take the bus there?