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annevau annevau 46-50, F 29 Answers Mar 12 in Parenting & Family

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WOW...How lucky your daughter would be to be with her father if you love a boyfriend more than her...Sad,very sad

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you're a terrible mother if you put your fiance before your own daughter, shame on you

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wow, your child should always come first

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Choosing a man over your daughter? Wow. Some day she may not let you see your grandchildren. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Find a better one.

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Sure, why not, it's all about you and your needs, right?<br />
I wouldn't care what my biological daughter thinks....

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Choosing anyone on earth over your own child is totally unforgivable.<br />
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Get your priorities in order and be her MOTHER.<br />
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Your daughter will always need your unconditional love and support.<br />
This makes me quite ill really!!!

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How exactly is she ruining it?, and before you decide to send her to her dad you should first realize is your relationship with someone who could probably be bad for you in reality worth more than your relationship with your daughter. He could actually be bad for you, regardless from the fact he proposed.

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i guess u sud do it , girls ne way love their dad more than their moms :P

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Funny, how quick people are to criticize when they don't know the full story. I put other post explaining further with no reply and it only tells half the story. Even if my fiancé were not in the picture, I would consider her moving in with her dad. She's so defiant and disrespectful to the point that I don't know what else to do. We've gone to three counselors and nothing has helped. That's why I came on here, but most of what I got was cut downs with little advice.

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My daughter is 16. My fiancé and I have dated for 5yrs. She has been a constant problem even when he was working and living out of town. She is not real close to her dad although she sees him every week. And no she has never wanted us to get back together. She was 2yrs old when we divorced. Her father had a horrible temper, as well. The day he hit me was the day I left with my children. He's never been abusive to them. He was just was cruel to me.

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Im a single mom and have been for thirteen years. Ive given up most everything in my life to try and be there for her, including my relationships. She has always been difficult. I've tried everything including counseling. Including meds. She refuses to do anything that would be good for her or our relationship. She refuses to go to school, do her school work, chores and etc. Its either her way or she makes it Hell on everyone around her. Her own brother moved out because of her violent outburst. I cant have a conversation with her without it being a fight. She's hateful, unappreciative and self-centered like her father. She uses lies and manipulation to get her way. She blows up and curses at me and my fiancé (who tries to stay out of it because he's not her father). She's rude to him every chance she gets. It's not because of him per say, it's anything or anyone that stands in the way of her getting what she wants. I've tried everything, I mean everything! I love her and we can be very close at times, and it saddens me to even think of sending her to her dads, but I think it may be better for her and for our relationship if I do. She absolutely has no respect for me and the ground rules I've set up in my home. I don't know what else to do. I've finally found someone I really love and who loves me and I told her how she needed to be if she wanted to live with us after we are married. Nothing has changed. She said she doesn't want to live with us, but won't live with her dad and won't straighten up her act. I feel she has made her choice by her actions, because I told her if she didn't change her attitude, she would have to live with her dad. I don't feel I should have to give up my whole life and a man I truly love and want to spend the rest if my life with because she doesn't want him here and because she doesn't want to abide by my rules and be respectful.

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Why aren't you married to their dad? Nevermind, yeah, send her to her dad she is probably better off there, dads are generally better parents after infancy anyway.

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He was mentally and verbally abusive to me. I stayed for 11yrs and tried everything including counseling. Our counselor said he had issues with depression and possibly bipolar. He said our counselor was a quack and that nothing was wrong with him. He refused to change. The day he hit me was the day I left with my kids. She was two then.

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In my experience, divorcing parents often underestimate the extent to which children are traumatized by the divorce. If your daughter is trying to ruin your relationship with your fiance, that could be simply a sign of the pain she is in. She wants mommy and daddy back together, and remarrying will make that impossible. Sending her to her dad will not heal the hurt. Obviously, it is unrealistic of her to expect you two to get back together, but hey, she is just a kid. And she is hurting. She is traumatized. She needs compassion if she is to find healing. Perhaps family therapy will help, or at least some trusted adult that she can talk with.

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sure... ditch your daughter... then when your fiancée cheats on you and leaves, then you will have no one... go right ahead

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sounds like you're really good at relationships... maybe take a closer look at yourself...

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Ruining how?

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How old is she, if she isn't following the rules of your house I see no problem asking dad to step in. I'm there with my 19 year old stepson son only his mom won't take him and dad won't put his foot down.

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maybe your fiance should spend alittle time getting to know your daughter, planning some event for the two of them to enjoy; your daughter is probably jealous and feeling threatened by your relationship with him; but if she's unbearable and doesn't respond, then maybe ship her off to dad for awhile.

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We've tried including her. She just complains, belittles us and has a haughty attitude. She refuses to do anything with us, now.

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Maybe you should sit down and discuss with your daughter why she seems to have issues with your relationship. Pushing her to live with her father only makes it seem like you don't care about her feelings and you think that your fiancé is more important than your daughter. I think you should strongly reconsider your choice of action before you potentially ruin your relationship with your daughter, your own flesh and blood, forever.

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what is more important your daughter or your desires ? answer to that question will lead you to the answer of yours

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