You've not been wiping properly sir.
Can be several things, infected hair roots, dry/ irritated due to wiping technique.
Try Google it :D
This happens to me sometimes too what you need is before going to bed put some antiseptic ointment on the spot this should help
The area you mention is common for bed ulcers. Have you been sitting in one place for too long?
:) Thanks for making me laugh this morning
You're obsessed with your Butt crack. In your story you thought it was sexy to show a pretty woman. It's only sexy to gay men.
That could be one of the mysteries of the universe or you are wearing your pants down too low around your butt !
Sounds like some kind of tail bone damage lol.
Sounds like it's time for a medical check up now that Obama Care has kicked in.
go and show a neighbour.... preferably an elderly one. they might help.
You have sat down to long. Stand up for a while. Maybe go for a walk.
You weren't drinking margaritas by any chance were you?
Take a warm soapy bath.