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I was venting my frustration and anger to a friend about the fact that my husband has threatened to go to child services and report me with concerns that I am not stable enough to take care of our son, because he was not getting his way during our mediation..Once I advised her of what he said her comment to me was " So what do you think...are you stable???" without any empathy...I was really thrown by this comment and one I did not expect from her..I was really hurt by this...I answered yes and then changed the topic. Would you interpret her reaction as if she also agrees with my ex? I know that I would never ...ever say that to a friend...Another friend of mine who I also told...Instantly responded with...OMG...do not worry...you are a great mum...he is just trying to bring you down!!! Do not doubt yourself for even one minute!
Wiltingflower Wiltingflower 36-40, F 9 Answers Sep 1, 2012 in Single Parenthood

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Clue: Your friend that surprised you, child services, and his lawyer-- will ask this question in exactly the same manner-- impartially. Your response to it will be very telling. Not what you say, but how you react-- how you say it.



Do you have a history of instability...? On what basis would your husband make this claim...?

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From a lawyer or child services I would expect them to ask it just like that...But...not from a friend who has been there during my emotional abuse...who has seen what my ex has done to me...who see how much I adore my son and do anything I can to make him happy...I am hurt because I felt that it was totally insensitive...

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Perhaps. But you still haven't answered the questions: Do you have a history of instability...? On what basis would your husband make this claim...?

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No I have no history of instability...My ex is a very vindictive man..he will try anything to hurt me...He stopped paying child support for two months just to make a point and make things difficult for me....he only sees my son once a week because he is too busy with his lifestyle and work...I asked him to spend a whole weekend Sat and Sun with his son once every fortnight and he refused because his work is more important...I have my son 6 days a week...I have no support as my family is interstate...I work and try my best to make sure my son has a big smile on his face every day...he is my life. I have hardly any friends...they are also interstate....I only have 2 friends here...the one that responded in a way that hurt me is my sons godmother...She has a husband that would do anything for her...and 2 children as well...I am shocked with what she said because I feel like she has no idea of how hard it was for me to leave my abusive ex husband ...It broke my heart for my son but I know in the long run I know we will be fine...I am doing the best I can for both of us...I am really guarded when it comes to making friends or letting people in to my life after the break up...It took a while to let her in...I just feel that I may have made a mistake as there a few other things she has said to me that I really do not think are right coming from a friend that is meant to supportive...

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If he stopped with the support, you should have filed a contempt immediately, and stopped his visitation until he complied. It isn't like he lost his job and CAN'T support his child. In fact, his maneuvering is most likely a means to get the child so he doesn't HAVE to pay support.

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Im guessing she only asked out of intrest after you brought the subject up dont panic :) xXx

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well from reading your question you don't actually seem all that stable to me. you're in counseling for depression and going through a nasty separation. you need people who are going to tell you the truth because when CPS comes knocking you can't just say "no no i love my kid...it's all my ex's fault that i'm depressed...go away"



take a really hard look at yourself. stop being a victim and do what's best for your son.

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A true friend tells you or asks you what they think, not what they think you want to hear. I'd much rather have a friend who cares enough about me to tell me when I'm wrong, or ask questions to make me think of things in a new way, than a so-called friend who is nothing more than a butt-kisser.



That being said, your friend could have asked you if you thought that you were stable as a set-up to telling you that if you feel confident in your ability to take care of your son, then to disregard what your ex has said. She could also be wondering if the depression that you are getting treated for will interfere with your ability to take care of your son. You shouldn't be asking us, because the best we can do is guess.



You need to ask her where she was coming from with the question. She's the only one who can give you a definitive answer that doesn't include guessing. If you do, I'd advise asking from an understanding that a true friend is honest about things, whether you like their honesty or not about something. Sometimes the best way to love a friend is to let them know that you think that they are wrong.

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No worries here, if he had said that you `shake` when answering the phone, she would have asked "do you shake?" It`s called `a process of elimination` similar to the police asking "well, did you do it?" Next please.

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I don't know you, so it totally possible that your first friend is actually concerned and your second friend is saying what she thinks she's expected to say without really meaning it. The second friend could be right, but from someone who instantly responds with "omg.." I doubt it.

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