I am suicidal, I have various forms of neurosis including OCD, depressions, bipolar and I feel like I am never needed, that I will never belong. I have panic attacks as well as periods when I am very depressed, and the only way to feel in control is to self-harm. There are two reasons for me doing this - I need control and I want somebody to notice. At the minute all I do is cut my skin with a compass of safety skin. I have scars down my fingers and on my hands and once tattooed my wrist with a safety pin and ink as a form of disguised self-harm. I have just turned fourteen. I want to move on to slashing or cutting deeper, but my mother will notice. What do I do, because I feel like everything is futile and I will end up doing something stupid. When I have had a bad attack or feel very low, I often go to sleep and dream about how I will make people notice. I once dreamed that I was in the bathrooms at my school, and I was stabbing at my arms and my legs. I hate myself. What can I do?