New situation please help?

my husband friend alowed us to move into his guest house about eight months ago, we pay 4oo dollars a month rent, and can't do much better right now due to the economy and my husband s a past felon it is hard to find places to rent, tonight my husbands friend not only made a pass at me, but let me know he has fantacies about me, he is married, I am married, but I take my vows very seriously and told him so, if I tell my husband we will be homeless I can't afford to move, if I don't tell him, I'm afraid this will happen again, and it almost feels like I'm being unfaithful to him answeres please, I don't lie to my husband, his friend also hinted that my husband has not been faithful to me, and yes he was drunk,

Posted 6 months ago

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You are sticking up for what you believe is right. That in itself is incredible and you are amazing for it. I would love my future wife to be as dedicated as you are. Your husband is a lucky man. Thank you, for keeping the sanctity of marriage.

List out the pros and cons of telling your husband:
Pros:
Being faithful to your husband
Showing trust through words

Cons:
Your husband's loss of his friend
Your loss of a house

Now, the pros and cons of not telling your husband:
Pros:
Being faithful to your husband
Showing trust through actions
Keeping a house

Cons:
Your guilt

He may make passes, but you have made yourself clear and are sticking to that. The passes will fade, you must endure. Normally I would want you to tell your husband. But the circumstances dictate that the best course of action for your safety is to keep it to yourself. And you know, that is a very selfless act.

You do not know that your husband has been unfaithful, nor should you ever think so from the words coming out of someone else's mouth. Especially not after what that man was trying to do. The only time you should ever reason that he is being unfaithful is if you have completely clear evidence or if he tells you.

Posted 6 months ago

Other 6 Answers to New situation please help?

sinnamon76	Posted May 17th, 2009 at 5:06AM WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE IN MISERY FOR ANOTHER MONTH OR TWO, BECAUSE THATS HOW LONG IT MAY BE BEFORE EVERYTHING BLOWS UP ANYWAYS, OR WOULD YOU RATHER BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU START SEARCHING FOR A PLACE TO LIVE? I AM SINGLE, HAVE NO JOB, I GET $339 A MONTH WELFARE, AND MY RENT IS $565 A MONTH, PLUS I PAY ELECTRIC AND WATER. I SCRAMBLE MY HARDEST DOING HOUSECLEANING, LAWN CARE, AND ARTWORK TO SCRAPE BY. THERE IS TWO OF YOU! THINKING YOU CANT GET A PLACE OR TO SURVIVE BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU IS JUST NONSENSE! GET OUT OF A BAD SITUATION BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF HAND! Rated: +2Vote for this!
ShutterEyes	Posted May 17th, 2009 at 5:05AM That does seem like a tough situation. I've always believed that you have to be honest with your spouse. There are a number of things that could go wrong if you don't let him know what's happening. Not only could your husband's friend try to make another move on you, but if your husband finds out from someone other than you, he may get the wrong impression and think it was your idea. Share your fears with your husband. Let him know why you were reluctant to tell him. Maybe if you ask him to just talk to his friend, this problem can be resolved without a large scandal arising. Yes, you might still have to move out, but at least you'll still have the trust in your relationship. And if your husband has been unfaithful, well, that's another hurdle you'll have to get over. But for now, try and fix this. Rated: +2Vote for this!
anardun	Posted May 17th, 2009 at 3:49AM To not tell your husband wouldn't be being unfaithful in any way. You so far are sticking to your values and are being very faithful to him. Stay away from this "friend" when he's drunk or your husband is not around. Don't ever be alone with him if you can help it. And start saving (even just a few dollars every month) so that you have a bit more options, if it comes to that. Better to have an extra 50 dollars than nothing, and if you get enough time, it will add up. It helps to have some money for a "plan B", as it were. Also, do you think you could slip a hint to his wife about things? how close are you to her? If so, maybe she can help you keep things from turning into a bad situation. Maybe you could share your concerns, but downplay it as "well he was drunk so it probably doesn't mean anything serious, I just thought you might want to know..." If he thinks he's likely to get caught, he might stop trying. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Hopeisinusall	Posted May 17th, 2009 at 10:19AM I don't know if you should tell you husband if you do. He may just blow it off as his friend being drunk and you being very attractive. He may not get mad. You did nothing wrong. I would say something to the friend that you are not intrested and do not want to know his feelings for you. Tell him that you are in love with you hsuband and this is not a possible arrangement. Also that you feel uncomfortable being alone with him now. Let this man take responsiblity for his actions. Rated: +1Vote for this!
fitnessISlife22	Posted May 17th, 2009 at 2:48PM I'm sorry you are in such a position. Take care of your relationship with your husband & leave. At the end of the day you will still have the man you swore you would love and honor until death do you part. Rated: +1Vote for this!
everton13	Posted May 17th, 2009 at 3:06PM Move out and stay with your husband. Your husband can do without this kind of a friend. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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