What's a real man? Kevin Kostner in "Bottle"? Tom Hanks in "Mail"? Clint Eastwood? Or maybe you'd be more into Steve Jobs? No offense, but when I hear moaning about how there's no real men left I know right away that she wants a nonexistent fantasy, some combination of media images and horndog daydream whose sublimely sensitive yet brutishly aggressive nature includes the telepathic power necessary to allow him to chase her exactly when and exactly how far she wants to be chased, "force" her when she wants to be "forced", and let her have her way when it's really important, like, during the other 22 hours a day... If he isn't independently wealthy (but with fascinating hobbies) he's an agonized artist, or on his way to being one of the two unless he's one of those Soldier of Fortune types in which case he'll have to give all that stuff up and become a fireman when they get married because a Real Man would do that in a sec.<br/><br />
It sounds like I'm being mean, or sarcastic, but really, the point I'm trying to make is real men are like real women. We have hopes and dreams and fears and "issues" and it's damned hard to know when you want us to just take you and when you'd rather we drew a warm bath and rubbed your back afterward. The best way to get a Real Man is to act like a Real Woman. Ask for what you want, tell us what you need, accept the parts that aren't quite what you ordered because the sides are good and the waiter's too cute to make trouble for. Don't make fun of our uncomplicated natures or how easy we are to please, don't treat us like particularly dangerous children, and don't use your emotional strength and sexual power as weapons.<br/><br />
We're all real men. There's no other kind, unless you buy a rubber one and blow him up on Saturday night. But daydream heroes are one in ten million. Your kid won't be able to arrange the miracle blind date with the radio host. The only way to get one is to find someone not too far from your ideal, someone you can trust and communicate with, and yes, love, and his innate drive to please you will lead him to grow in the direction of your heart. Treat him like a child, or a pet, or a parent, or a toy, and instead of a hero you'll find only an empty space left when he vacates the premises toot-suite.<br/><br />
whew that was longer than I intended. My scars are showing :-)
Not all women want "fix'em uppers". Not all of us tolerate "bad boys". Some of us DO appreciate being treated with respect and are NOT looking for ultra "macho" types who abuse us. It's unfortunate that a segment of women who are apparently damaged and won't cut someone who mistreats them loose, immediately, sets the tone for what (in some minds) constitutes "real" manhood.<br />
I can't say that I blame some nice guys who give up in frustration. If she doesn't know what she wants, how's HE supposed to know ? We're all adults, hopefully.
Ultra "macho" (note the quotes). It doesn't have to be abusive. But unfortunately, for some women, if he's not running the show and telling her what to do, he's not a "real man". All of us don't want that, so I resent when some women put out the message "you're not a real man if you don't order women around". They can't speak for ME .
if you can't find any real men then you're looking in the wrong places.
Yes, there are good men left as long as women dont hold them to impossible standards, and allow them to make mistakes. Lets not hope for "good", lets accept "flawed with good intentions" which we all are and which will set you up for less disappointments.
You speak the truth until the end. It also takes the "She" to grow. People want thrills, both men and women. There is nothing wrong with that. Except the flirt and party animal rarely are the ones that will stand by your side in the time of need. They will be standing with the boys at the bar. You, however, have more wisdom than many your age, and many that are assumed to be mature. You are commendable in your wisdom and win a gold star from me for the day. :D
You are quite welcome my dear. :D
ugh well bad guys always remind me of my first love, but it doesn't mean that i can fall for ANY bad guy.
Sorry if its not me then its no one.