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I wonder if you just see what you want to see at first, or if you finally see the real them after a while? It seems some people are on their best behavior, and then they sink back into their old habits and routines. I always feel that I made a commitment to start a new endeavor with someone and then I look up one day and wonder where they have gone and why we are not on the same path anymore.
KinleyKaye KinleyKaye 41-45, F 11 Answers Jan 18, 2013 in Struggles

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They don't change, you just get to know them better. They're more relaxed and so are you. With some people you like it, with others you don't. It's called compatibility. :)

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There's no way to answer the question because no two people are exactly the same. At the beginning of a relationship it seems we just can't get enough of one another and then our ardor begins gradually to cool. That's normal, but if you're "doing it right" you're left with a close and lasting bond which can sustain you through life's inevitable temptations. The problems is, sometimes people are so desperately lonely that they deceive themselves and don't take the time to really get to know one another.<br />
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My wife likes to say "Men marry women thinking they won't change but they do. Women marry men thinking they'll change but they don't." It's a cliché I guess, but, like all clichés it contains a grain of truth.

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You've answered much of your question. People are generally on their best behaviour when they are wooing you, and in the early days of a relationship. But eventually they relax and you see who they really are. It's not so much that they change, but more facets of their personality are revealed.

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mostly because we try to be someone else to impress other people

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and that facade soon breaks down - really it's that we didn't change that people don't like

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they become so comfortable with one another that they let their guard down and show their true colors. sometimes its for the better sometimes its for the worst but you never know until you try (-:

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I think people change as they grow. It's just a natural process. I don't really want my partner to stay the exact same as they were when I met them- I want them to grow with me.

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Exactly! Grow with you. Not revert back to pre-relationship self aborbedness.

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Yes!

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did u know u have too?

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Yeah, I changed into the maid instead of the hot seductress. LOL

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awwwwwwwww lol

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I have no idea. I feel like I haven't changed, but he's done almost a complete 180 and I really don't like the changes. The only thing I can figure is that he was afraid if I knew more about the real him, I'd have called off the relationship, so he kept the real him hidden. Yes, I would have called it off, but wouldn't that have been better than years of mismatched misery?

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I hate it when I feel like I have been deceived. Your time is too important to waste on "mismatched misery".

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In a lot of ways I think my husband had himself deceived, unfortunately I am a casualty.

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Ouch!

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Ouch!

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