the last 20 years of my life...But i'm up for parole..
I feel happy and sad and even lost sometimes but all in all I am looking forward to a new beginning..
When I got hit by the car my family (ma, pa,bro's) were all that mattered. They (especially mom) showed me over and over how much they loved me. Sitting by my hospital bed those terrible fist 5 months! Being infinitely patient with their daughter who was only half the woman she used to be for those first few yrs. They moved me everywhere, did anything, took me to any specialist, helped me graduate from college!
Spent thousands and thousands of dollars on me, trying to help me.
And then...at one point....I thought I would be better off somewhere else. So, I lived far away from them. The "new" and slightly disabled Laura slowly, slowly slid down into hopelessness.
Then, last year I suddenly realized all of this! I picked up everything and left my home of 20 some-odd yrs. and came to California! I am now "home" and Im so lucky! And I did all that for love!
Even with all the turmoil and heartache that I have experienced because of love, I don't feel I've really sacrificed anything to/for it. It has all combined to help make me the person I am today and from what people around me have said, I'm a pretty decent, kind, caring, giving person. Why would I want to change that?
I have given up lots of time and money. Lots of opportunities for my life. But, in my mind, this is nothing. I lost absolutely nothing. My family still loves me. My friends are still there. And I have her. I am lucky...
I would do it all except turn my back on my kids. I can't do that and I met a man who wanted me too. He said he was the KING of his house and I needed to let my kids go to make new ones with him. Mini don't play that.
He didn't love me. Oddly he called me a trophy. I caught his eye that's for sure. He tried everything to hook me too but I never fell for him. He was a great looking guy...but he just wasn't for me.
Yeah I sensed something wasn't right with him and he picked up on that but respected me for it. I kinda regret bailing out on him the way I did. I just quit answering his calls.
I have moved from my family to hers. And now I'm paying for it because my mother is in the nursing home and I'm not able to go visit her very often at all.
I've never regretted moving. This is home to me now and I'm a visitor when I go back. I was visiting Momma quite a bit before my wreck but now I can't as much as I'd like.
My freedom kind of.
I broke a restraining order and went to jail. Her mom placed it on me.