OK,We need cheering!...Do you have a good joke?

how come sherlock holmes never payed taxes?


brilliant deductions!

DISCLAIMER: (IT'S A JOKE, PPL. DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD.)

A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Did you hear what the two gay judges did? They tried each other

Nope, I don´t. I guess I need some cheering , too.

OK... for all you people not living in the Netherlands or Belgium: Dutch jokes about the Flemish are that they are silly, Flemish jokes about the Dutch are that they are greedy. Here are two jokes:

Dutch: The Belgian air force didn't participate in the European practice; the pilot was sick.

Flemish: How has coper wire been invented? Two Dutch have been pulling on a cent.

The shortest joke in the world

Title: Fleas

Adam had them

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!!

mr. and mrs. Bill gates walked into this cocktail party, a stranger approched mr. and mrs. gates, he started to stutter, Bill Gates says I am MICRO - SOFT! the stranger turns to mrs. for confirmation, what does she say.... No comment......!!!!!

go by you a red coat and a bottle of coke a do not choke.get it joke coke.ha!ha! peace out .

two gay guys are walking past a funeral home. one looks at the other and says,"what do you say we stop in and suck down a couple of cold ones?"

I hope this URL opens as it is almost certain to bring cheer into your day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k (Remember to copy and paste into the address bar).

This video was made in the Antwerp , Belgium Central (Train) Station on March 23, 2009, with no warning to the passengers passing through the station.
At 8:00 am a recording of Julie Andrews singing 'Do, Re, Mi' begins to play on the public address system.
As the bemused passengers watch in amazement, some 200 dancers begin to appear from the crowd and station entrances.

They created this amazing stunt with just two rehearsals! Enjoy!

Indians cows occupy roads. Some driver whispers to some of them and all run away. People ask him what is the secret, he says: get out of here, otherwise I will tell you my funniest jokes!

I got a cousin who works at a watch factory - he sits around and makes faces all day.

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm,and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.'
The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate...'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him for his offering.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her **** are so big she can only fasten eight.'

The teacher sat down and cried.

How do you know if a pregnant is using a vibrator?
Answer: The baby comes out stuttering.