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Ok I've been in a relationship with my husband. Then we got married and have been for three years but within?

Ok I've been in a relationship with my husband. Then we got married and have been for three years but within that time he has hit more then once before we got married then after because he kept telling me I was cheating and I wasn't I work and come straight home to tend to him the house and my son. When he acused me at this time I was sitting on the chair. I told him I wasn't then laughed cause it was crazy to think I was, then after I did this he walked over and punched me in the face I fell back and hit the table which knocked a hole in my hair all the while my son has seen this, we went to couseling. and the only thing he said was it was my fault. so he left but came back and I keep thinking he's gonna hit me again. so I started talking to someone online. It was only e-mails then we met and now were dating but my husband still comes to the house and I want him to leave but I'm afraid he might hit me again or worse. Anyway the young man I am seeing loves me very much and I love him. My son has seen him and talked to him almost everynight. My mom has taken my son some nights and I see him almost everyday and see him almost everynight. He asked me to marry him and he already started looking for a new house to put me and omar in I explained what happen with my husband and he is nothing like him and adores me calls me every morning and every night before he gets off of work and twice everynight. I truly love this man but I don't want to hurt my husband and I don't want him to get violent towards me or my new found love. . I'm also affraid of not having the finacial means to leave with my son I have a job but I don't really have family to watch him while I keep us from being kicked out of our apartment. can someone please give me sound advice on what to do!

Posted 8 months ago

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An abusive relationship is more complicated than most people think. You do have to leave for yourself and your child but I do understand the pull your husband can have on you because he's not always abusive is he? There are probably times where you get along well and things seem like they will be ok. Unfortunatly, this never lasts and he slips into the old abusive behavior. He is too troubled for you to fix him. Move on.

Posted 8 months ago

Other 12 Answers to Ok I've been in a relationship with my husband. Then we got married and have been for three years but within?

GDGGirl	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 3:31PM Divorce his a** then move on with your life. You can have an officer there when you move out if they know the situation. You already hurt your husband by starting something with someone else. You should have left the first time the guy hit you. If he does become violent there are people and groups that can help you. Best of luck! Rated: +1Vote for this!
MegJgeM	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 3:51PM Take control of what you have and leave if you are afraid! You may think you don't have the means to leave but that is just another excuse! I used it myself for nearly 10 years and now I am living a life I too never thought was possible. I chose me and my children over being afraid or alone. It is far worse to stay over fear than to go out and live a life you have control over as well as having your life intact! Many of us have written stories that tell exactly what you have been through....take time to read them and get the courage that you know you have to take back your life! Good luck to you....and if you want to speak further you can send me a message :-) Rated: +1Vote for this!
Glenn59	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 3:54PM First of all, YOU ARE STUPID----- Why would you feel anything for the loser husband? He has hurt you and your son. He deserves nothing short of jail but, you should at least get an order of protection to keep him away from you AND YOUR SON. He is dangerous and needs anger management. You did not mention if he drinks or drugs but I'm betting he is drunk a lot! You also need to join a support group for abused women, check with a local church or your own if you have; but not if your husband also attends that church. Get a divorce, and if the new love is true then write up a pre-nupt and you both go get it notarized. Rated: +1Vote for this!
IVotedForPedro	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 4:03PM You're not stupid, but are in a very bad situation. There is help and please take advantage of it for you and your child. Don't let it go on, make it a priority to plan well and get out to a safe place. There is life out there, real life. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Coyotegray	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 4:21PM FGind a battered women's shelter (that is what you are dear). They will take in you and your son and protect you while you work out what you are going to do next. They also can provide counsel on how to get this violent man under control by the p[olice and whether or not you should remain living in the same area or move to anoher city. Following your fear will not protect you. He is capable o violence even if you don't do anything. The trick now is to get out and get away and keep away - permanently! Rated: +1Vote for this!
unicorn59	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 4:47PM First off...be careful...when you leave an abusive partner, you are most risk for danger...even death....be very careful..... There are ways to leave safely....get a restraining order....Go to your local DAs office....then, get yourself into counseling...they can help you get your son and you into a safe place.... Your husband doesn't need anger management...he's an abuser....it's more about a faulty core value system...and that's not something anger management addresses very effectively.... Wherever you go, make sure he doesn't know where it is....The courts are very good at protecting victims of domestic violence...make sure once you are out, that you have NO CONTACT...because he'll try to get you to feel sorry for him, and take him back, at which point you are in much greater danger..... Can you not stay with your mom? I am sure that she wouldn't want you to spend a second longer with a guy who abuses her daughter.....you may check with her...it may be the solution, just until you get on your feet. Rated: +1Vote for this!
JojoWazoo	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 5:28PM RESTRAINING ORDER and then divorce this loser before you lose your life. These people are crazy and will act out on their anger. GET A RESTRAINING ORDER NOW!!!!!!!! Tell everyone you have it and keep a careful eye out. All the best Rated: +1Vote for this!
qazrazl	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 5:29PM Ok, two sentences into your run-on paragraph "he has hit more then once before we got married then after". Stupid girl. You married someone who hit you? And have a son? Sorry, your stupidity and your perpetuating the situation don't get my compassion. Your only course of action is to take what you can and you go with your son into a battered women's shelter. But you love the drama so you don't really want a solution. Rated: +1Vote for this!
lady44	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 6:19PM I don't even want to finish reading this, I have a question for you...WHY ARE YOU THE HELL STILL WITH HIM??!! BEEN THERE DONE THAT, AND WON'T GO BACK....LEAVE HIM!! Don't take another lick from him....Go Girl and never look back you are worth more than what he is treating you as..I'm getting madd by the second..let me go before I say something unlady like....... "let me know what you have decided to do, message me ! Rated: +1Vote for this!
cheesecowboy	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 6:57PM Get out...no one deserves to be hit...i knew my marriage was over the day i raised a fist to my wife (i did not hit her) but the thought that she could frustrate me to a point where my only reaction was violent was wrong...regardless of excuses, no one deserves to be hit... Rated: +1Vote for this!
Bananna	Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 10:47PM You already know the answer to this... Rated: +1Vote for this!
tthhaattgguuyy	Posted Feb 28th, 2009 at 5:47AM Have him killed... Rated: +1Vote for this!

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