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Question is... Do you seek help for someone that constantly lies about everything or do you just leave them completely alone? When I say this guy lies, he LIES. I've even caught him in lies with actual proof and he'd still deny it. The moment I would tell him I'm leaving him, he'd start crying and telling me how much he loves me and how much he wants to change. And still constantly lies. I caught him texting another female that he wants to make love to her, and then a different female he told that he thinks about her all day, and ANOTHER woman he told that he wants to hold in his arms. I was so upset and ready to leave him. Soon as I packed up and left, he started calling me crying telling me he doesn't want to lose me and considers what I saw "flirting". Right. So I forgave him and he's still doing sneaky things. Sliding women his number via/ Facebook pic comments, and lying about it. I just don't believe if he really "loved" me that he'd be doing this to me. Please help
mrowe718 mrowe718 26-30, F 35 Answers Aug 18, 2013 in Broken Hearts & Betrayal

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Step 1: Cut him out of your life<br />
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That's all, really.

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Dude, I didn't need to "read more" (but I did). Ditch him. There's nothing wrong with being blind to this kind of thing sometimes, but don't fool yourself. <br />
Scenario 1: You don't ditch him. Either you spend more time with this guy, who does these things and ****** you off, or you do eventually ditch him and you wonder why you didn't do it sooner<br />
Scenario 2: You ditch him, and do your best not to go out with a total butt-eel.

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Fact: Lots of men aren't saints, but not many men are total butt-eels. This guy sounds like a total butt-eel.

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You know all the kids in my neighborhood had ba<x>seball bats. Funny thing was that we never played ba<x>seball. We found out that the bats were better used as behavior modification devices.

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See yeah bud!<br />
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

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Why do you keep giving him chances? He's a pla<x>yer flat out he's always going to lie to you. Pack up and get out of dodge and say screw you! He has no intention of ever changing so quit waiting for something that'll never happen!

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Pathologic liar, a sociopath, bad news. Totally untrustworthy, say goodbye to him forever or plan on a life of total torture and misery.

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He is too much work...<br />
move on

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Leave him now or accept the way he is.

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simple you dont help a ****** like that, he sounds like a little *****.<br />
kick his *** out and find a real man.

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I'm sorry but why are you still feeding him. He knows you do well and he is manipulating. He is never going to change. This people are sick. They believe. Their own lies. Get out while you can.

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I am in a similar situation. I am inclined towards forgiveness and giving people a chance because I know that it is possible to change as I have changed myself. However, I also know that I deserve to be treated better and I do not want to be a doormat who keeps forgiving just because I know that he deep down he has a good heart and if he could muster the courage to do what needs to be done, we could have a great relationship.<br />
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What really matters is actions. They can say that they want to change until they are blue in the face and they may well be telling the truth. However, until they take active steps to show you they've changed then you cannot trust a word that they say. So, what I am currently doing/have done is: <br />
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I have told him what I NEED him to do to show me that he is committed to me and to change. I have even written it down so that he can keep referring to it and cannot say that he doesn't remember. The two most important things that I have asked him to do are:<br />
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a) get some counselling on his own to sort out his issues and really get to the bottom of why he keeps doing these things. If he doesn’t do this, I don’t believe that anything will change.<br />
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b) do some counselling as a couple, so that we can discuss the way we both feel in a relatively neutral place and with someone who can facilitate if things get heated and who may be able to provide some clarity and tools.<br />
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As I said, I have told him that this is what I NEED for him to do to show me that he is owning his actions and is exploring his triggers and what is required to change. I do not expect it to all be done at one time but he needs to start. He has agreed to go to a relationship course with me and we are learning good tools for communication and conflict resolution.<br />
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I know the course will not address the core issue(s) but it shows me that he is respecting my request and is at least doing something. It is a start. In the end, only he can resolve his issues, and to do that he has to want to. That’s about as simple as it gets. For myself, I will be grateful for the things that show me he is trying. If this comes around again, I will leave because I have to. It will be hard and it will be sad but my own sanity and sense of self is worth more than giving my whole being to someone who does not and cannot respect that.<br />
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Your own journey is up to you. It sounds as though you think there is something worth fighting for, but I suggest you sit down and think carefully about what you need from him for you believe things are changing. Make sure these are reasonable and achievable. If he refuses to even listen to these things then you need to leave. You are worthy and deserving of love and honest, committed love is possible.<br />
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I should probably add that only do these things if you really truly love him and believe the relationship is worth fighting for. If you can't say yes to both of these things then you should respect yourself and walk away.

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your right if he loved you he wouldn't and if you had any self respect you'd kick his lame *** to the curb and move on. he can only lie and hurt you if you let him.

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Youre right-he lives himself- he doesnt care how badly his lies and deception hurt and harm you. RUN dont walk away from him. Im in the same mess and i pray i never lay eyes on him again

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If he doesn't respect you enough to at least tell you the truth, then I would move on...you cant have a healthy relationship with no trust. I'm sorry :(

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Whats it going to take to convince you to just walk away?People like him never change!!!! Cut all communication and ties and walk away while you can!

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Leave before you get an std.

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leave him u deserve someone much better someone who u can trust

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He's obviously not worth your time.

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lol i have two bros like that..alcoholism and drug use will turn the nicest people into big fat liar faces

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Chronic liars never change. And if they say they are going to, they are lying again.

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