Maylane....get some help right away. There are people that you can talk to . You are not alone ...make the call to a suicide prevention hot line. They will give you some direction and help.
Then get an email for someone there or a text number. You can do it ! You are in your early 20 ' s ...you have your whole life ahead of you if you hang in there. Your depression could be a chemical imbalance that could be easily treated . What ever it is... don't give up !
Contact your therapist asap ! This low time is when you really need to talk to them. Just do it...no excuses ! ...Please
I have to go now.. you hang in there !