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CallMeAHuman CallMeAHuman 22-25, M 15 Answers Aug 1, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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If you have balls, ask her father first. It's just the proper thing to do, and it will earn you all the respect in the world, which you will need going forward into a marriage.

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I really like the way you've mentioned your thoughts. Right to the point!

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Thanks =)

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Probably depends which culture you're living in, and whether either or both of you adhere to a specific faith. <br />
If you are Muslim, ask the father first.<br />
If both of you get to know each other's families and have an idea of whether you can get along well with your prospective in-laws, that makes a good start.<br />
This informal approach might be more useful than getting permission, approval or blessing.<br />
If partners in a marriage have similar values, it gives them a better chance of working through problems.

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Yes, getting to know the in-laws before hand does seem to help. I've been fortunate that at least part of her family knows about me and they accept us. It just sort of makes things easier

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Being culturally-aware is a seriously wonderful trait to have. SO few people are "genuinely" aware that different cultures strategize and handle situations differently.
**KUDOS to this post!!!** ;)

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I'd rather him only ask me.

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can you just propose. stop thinking so much!

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sometimes it is best to just do and not think.

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My fella asked my father for his blessing before proposing to me, not because he had to, but out of respect.

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Since women are free to make their own decisions requesting a woman's hand in marriage is merely a pro forma courtesy. The social convention is to ask the family first.

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propose to girl to make sure she will say yes, then ask for family blessing...don't need their permission just their blessing...

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I would say ask the family first. It's always best to have their blessing/approval.

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It depends on her family situation and her as a person. For me personally, I have a tense family situation so I would not appreciate a guy asking my parents. If I were close with my parents, then I would see it as a nice gesture, but not necessary. You really have to consider it on a person to person basis.

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very well said. thanks for your thoughts

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I'd be awed if my bf ask my dad first ;)

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Her first

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Tell your parents what you're going to do. Ask her mother and father then propose.

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ask her

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