School called today because my son had lighters at school. What's appropriate punishment for 11yr old?

3 swats of the Paddle,hug him,tell him why he got it,tell him the danger of lighters and most important show him LOVE!

I think it really depends on what kind of 11yr old he is. Some only need a talking to. Some need punishment. You know your child best. Personally, I think I would try it your way first. 11 yr olds are not stupid. By now I'm sure he's seen the seriousness of what he's done. And grandpas carry a lot of cred with kids. Plus, you don't want to be too harsh if this is a first offence. He may have only thought it was cool to carry one around, a mark of impending adulthood, without thought of the possible consequences. When in doubt, the best way is always the kind way. You sound like a great mom and like your son has a lot of positive family reinforcement. I wouldn't sweat it too much.

It already sounds to me like there's been too much punishment. "Look at all the fire victims and the burned house!!! Gruesome death awaits you from any and all sources of fire!!!" Seems like a huge overreaction to having a lighter or two. I grew up helping in my parent's flower shop and I got expelled from my first Jr. High because I had a box cutter in my backpack. My parents just rolled their eyes, bitched out the principal for half an hour, and got me in a different school. Just get him to honestly tell you what he was planning on doing with them, and be prepared for, "Nothing really," to be an honest response. He's an 11 year old boy, after all.

At 11 you do what you think makes you look cool. You care a lot of what other people think of you. Does he hang around any questionable kids, or maybe older kids with a probability of imposing an unintentional negetive impact on him? Or maybe his close friend was brought up in a rough environment. If he has an interest in fire let him have an interest all boys do at some stage. On holidays have him help light fireworks, onces he's been properly taught to use a lighter, or a match, also maybe go on a camping trip and have him help dad or you to set up the campfire, just have him educated of when and where it is appropriate to use fire, and it's not for playing. Make sure he's well aware of the fact that if he's caught playing with fires, he will not be able to help with the supervised fire based activity. My mom did this similar thing to my little brother last year, seemed to have worked

I feel that he should be educated by the things you mentioned, but, I also think some kind of punishment is necessary or he will think that he can get by with things he knows better than do with just getting "talked" to. is that the impression you want him to have ? It's important that he understands that when he gets unto trouble there is serious consequences, grounding him for a week now from the things your friend suggested will save both you, and him a lot of problems down the road. But.if you ground him and don't follow through that will make it even worse. I have raised three kids, so I have already been here...It is your choice, but choose wisely, or one day you will wish you could turn back time...

Take him to the burn ward and show im some burn victoms.