This is JMO I am 99% sure i will never ever marry again. I get why ppl never marry just live with their Significant other.<br />
If you want be a single mom. your a person that can provide for that child do it. If somewhere down the road you find The One and he loves you i will accept and love your child as his own.

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I would suggest that you not make marriage and family an ob<x>jective. Your ob<x>jective should be to enjoy your life and to become a self-sufficient, self-sustaining individual. If the right guy comes along and you are ready for that kind of a relationship, then it will happen. All too often, women set as their ob<x>jective, finding a man to marry. They then get married and both they and their spouse spend years of unhappiness. <br />
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Experience life. Decide what is important to to and what is not. Understand your own personal Needs, Wants, and Fears.<br />
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Needs are those things that you absolutely must have in a relationship and in your life to achieve happiness. For most of us, needs tend to be things like enough food to eat, a comfortable place to live, and so forth. For many people, a faithful and monogamous relationship is a need. If this is one of your needs, then it is essential you find a spouse who shares your needs, including monogamy. Not everyone has this as a need. If you do not and you marry a guy who does, you are sure to have problems and probably will end up divorced. Another typical need is whether or not you will have children. Lets say that you now know that children are important to you and you need to have at least one and want to have two. What happens if you marry a guy who does not like children and does not want to have them at all, or worse, is unable to have them?<br />
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For most of us, our Fears have to do with losing our Needs. But what about Wants? Wants are things we want or would like to have but are to some extent willing to either live without or to exchange for other wants. A good example of a want is for a person who has an middle of the road sex drive and only wants or desires to have sex lets say once a week. You do not want to marry some guy who wants sex seven times a week. Both of you would then be unhappy -- you because he is always badgering you for sex and he because you are not meeting his sexual needs. Of course the numbers could be reversed and still result in the same level of unhappiness. Participation in church is often another want that results in friction, if one of you is religious and the other not.<br />
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Wants also can extend into other areas such as sexual fantasies and fetishes and a lot of other areas of life such as pets or no pets, travel, continuation of existing relationships, friends, politics, etc. The better you know yourself and your own wants, the better prepared you will be to discuss and come to agreement with a prospective spouse, before you are married rather than after, when it is too late. You also will be better prepared to negotiate and trade of with a prospective spouse -- I will do this if you do that.<br />
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Do not rush into marriage for marriage sake.

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Wasn't planning to but I'm still wondering if I should consider even bothering to try looking, I'm Independent already and have my own house.

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Kate -- Sounds to me like you are one heck of a good woman, having your independence and owning a home. That is all great. Please just be careful about marriage. Don't get me wrong, I believe in marriage and have been married to my one and only wife for 38 years. But both my wife and I will tell you that it has never been easy. Yes, we love each other very much. But love is not enough. Marriage takes continuous and repetitive negotiation and compromise, unless one partner makes him or herself subordinate to the others wishes and desires.
Being a strong independent woman makes it even more important that you take pains to understand exactly what you need and expect in a marriage and from a husband and to communicate that to any prospective partner before the wedding vows are taken. How would you feel if, after you have gotten married, you discover that your husband strongly believes that a wife should be dependent upon and subservient to their husband? There are a lot of guys out there who feel that way.
Meanwhile, live life, have fun, enjoy your independence, and you will find the right guy in the course of living your life.
As far as having a child before you marry, it is my strong opinion that that is a very bad idea. Many men are hesitant to take on the role of fatherhood over a child not their own. Often a child resents a new man coming into their life, making it difficult to bond. Children without a full time and loving father suffer long term deficits compared to children who have two parents. Boys emulate their father's behaviors, attitudes, emotional health etc. Girls learn about love and discover how to relate to men from their fathers. Girls without full time fathers often spend their lives having unsuccessful serial relationships with men and too often give their love to men unworthy of their love.
Looking back at my own life, I was fortunate to have a full time loving father. But I did not realize until after he had passed away how much like him I am in so many ways, both good and bad, but mostly good.

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It's best to settle down, just make sure your child's father figure is good and kind to you both.

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