Get her laid now and then,less yada,yada,more ching,ching,
go for a walk....a long one?
Oh no -- you're normal!
Just learn to give her some space and you'll be fine.
I'm not you, but I would ask her point blank why she feels the need to criticize me so much. I would ask if you she is my mom or something. Then, in case she didn't take a hint, every time she said something critical, I would say, "OK, mom. Thanks for pointing that out." I would keep calling her mom until she took the hint and stopped nagging me.
I meant to say it jokingly. If you smile and say it cutely, it will be not so rude but she will still get the message. Of course, if this woman has zero sense of humor, then it won';t work.