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There seem to be two schools of thought on this. The first school of thought is the man buys a ring and presents it when we pops the question. The other school says that since she will be wearing the ring she should get to choose it.
JustSillyStuff JustSillyStuff 46-50, T 18 Answers Aug 22, 2008

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It's up to her. If she's got something in mind, it's better for her to choose a ring she likes. However, if she has a romantic notion that the guy should pick out the ring and she should accept whichever one he picks, then that's what she should do.



What she should not do is expect the guy to mind-read what she wants and pick out the perfect ring. That's unreasonable.

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Both should have an active share in picking out the engagement ring. I plan on pointing out what I like within our price range and hearing what he has to say about those rings. Then we'll work toward finding a ring that we both adore. :)

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I think you have it exactly right. Ideally, the couple can casually look at and/or talk about likes and dislikes in engagement rings so that the man will know what his intended likes when he buys the ring.

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Im all for romance and would like to be surprised. I also know what type of ring I would want So Im torn because The ring can be a reflection of his character or hers. If he made the selection based on what he likes than Id probably appreciate that more than him trying to figure out what I like.

On the other hand, in a relationship that marriage isnt decided by a surprise popped question, than deciding together would be ideal.

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No matter how much that ring is worth, it is still the thought that counts. What if the one she chooses is so expensive? How are you going to deal with that?



This will not be a surprise anymore if the woman knows in advance that her man will be proposing to her. Better yet, the man asks a little favor with the woman's friends so that he will know what she liked.

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i ALWAYS WANTED TO WEAR A RING WITH BLACK STONES. iT WAS IMPORTANT TO HAVE SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AS AN ENGAGEMENT RING. mY BF DIDN'T MIND ME CHOOSING THE RING AND HE WAS HAPPY THAT I MADE MY OWN CHOICE. THE WORLD IS CHANGING AND SO ARE WE.

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Personally I think the whole ring thing is silly. So I say let her pick it out and pay for it.

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Sure why not? Many jewlers have a "loaner" ring you can use to pop the question then take your bride to pick out her setting. I don't see anything wrong with that.



But sure women like the memories of having a REAL proposal. Or I can imagine since I've never had that. :(

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I admit i picked mine but left behind the counter for him to pay for it.

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Honestly if a man cares enough to buy me any ring then I am going to wear it proudly. HOWEVER I would love to pick it out with him. I would be curious to know how well he knows my tastes. For example: I am a princess afterall so I am not partial to round stones. I prefer emerald cut, marquis, or of course, princess cut. I also love sapphires so that would be great for me. How many men are going to pay attention to that much detail to pick out a sapphire ring as opposed to a diamond for an engagement ring? I would think very few. Anyhow that is IMHO.

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I think the whole idea of engagement rings is stupid. I do not need a blood diamond or any other stone on my finger in order to let people know I'm loved. There is no point in it, really. But if you must have one, it makes sense for the woman to pick out her own.

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Been married twice, each time without a proper engagement ring....think I got something wrong there!!!..... Much as it would have been nice to have the romantic surprise thing, I guess I would prefer to have something I actually like!!

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There seem to be two schools of thought on this. The first school of thought is the man buys a ring and presents it when we pops the question.


The other school says that since she will be wearing the ring she should get to choose it.

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Traditionaly The man bought the ring even before he proposed Now days things are more liberal So maybe they should both choose together at a jeweler or even simpler by the woman choosing one in the shop window she likes

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I think she should choose .. but so should he.



The ideal would be she selects 3 rings then he gets to pick the one he likes most.

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I don't see why a woman shouldn't be allowed to pick out her own engagement ring - that's what I did after I got engaged.



If he picks the ring, you might end up with a ring you don't like/that doesn't fit.

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I really can't decide.

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The one time I did pop the question she immediately took me to a jewellers and wouldn't look at any ring under half a years salary (before tax to boot).



So I say NOOO.

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I picked out my own after my hubby established a price point. I will be doing the same this time as its time to upgrade within established price parameters. The way I see it the woman has to wear and look at it everyday so she should like it. You wouldn't buy her a car or a house without knowing if she likes it so why do that for an engagement ring? I mean most men can't even pick out a decent shirt for us. On the flip side a man should choose his ring for the same reasons; he's got to wear it not his wife.

If a man wants to surprise a woman with a proposal then simply propose WITHOUT a ring. Let her pick whatever falls into your budget and then if you want you can do an informal proposal with the ring she likes. That's what we did and so did my Dad.

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