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I've been dating this beautiful and wonderful girl just about a year.she just told me about her past and this has shocked me.im still a virgin.im 22yrs and she's 21yrs.in her past she had 3 b/f that she obviously cheated on and slept with more than 28 guys not because of love but mostly casual sex in her late teen.she's from a rich family so she never missed big fiestas those days and slept around.today she's no more that girl she was and she has learn a lot.i love her because she makes my life beautiful.she cried for me to forgive her.Our love is 91%.but her past keep haunting me sometimes and it hurts me because i have no past.her past has affected her reputation.she's ready to do everything just to keep me.she said ,today because of me her life is full with not lust but real love she had never experienced and she wants to be with me forever.what should i do?pls i need advice.
XLoverBoy XLoverBoy 22-25 28 Answers Sep 10, 2010

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I think you hit home when you said sometimes her past hurts you because she has one and you don't. Part of what you are feeling is jealousy. I think another thing you are bothered by is that none of the people she had relations with were you, and you feel left out or cheated.<br />
But see, you made choices and so did she. That's okay. That is what life is about. However, you do have some issues that you need to confront. One of which is to determine if you really love her as much as you say you do. Two major components of love are acceptance and forgiveness. If you love this girl, then part of loving her is to accept that she, like you, has faults, a past, and she had a life before she met you. She did not sit passively on a shelf, waiting for the sheer chance that she might meet you. So, if you accept her, the part of love is forgiveness. First, you have to understand that she never did a solitary thing with any intention of hurting you; nothing she did in her past was toward you. <br />
She feels remorse and shame over her past and is begging you to forgive her. You really have nothing to forgive her for, because she did nothing to you to cause you pain, distrust, or any other negative thing. <br />
So, my answer to your question is, no, you should not break up with your girlfriend over her sexual past. She found out too late that our society is wrong about its approach toward "casual sex". She isn't the only one to have fallen for that lie and later regretted it.<br />
My advice to you is to consider this: She and you are new to each other. As far as she is concerned, you have no past with her; then she, likewise, has no past with you. Please leave the past where it is. It doesn't belong to you anymore than the future does, so all we have is now that is ours. Cherish now. It is why we have it. And there is this, too: she saved the most important part of herself for you: her heart. I wish you both the best of luck as you work through this.

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Thanks Northguy! Im really touched by your words.I've got what you mean and its true.I can see how much matured you are.she is my queen and she'll always be.Of that i'm sure.i'm keeping her.you have changed someone's life today.

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Are you going to confess to her all the times you ***********? Beg for forgiveness?<br />
She didn't even know you. <br />
She was and is her own person and now wants to commit to being with you. Trust her if you love her.

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People do some dumb **** when they are young, whatever she did in her past needs to remain there, keep your eyes open but never accuse unless you have proof !! Give her a chance, you never know !!

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I'll surely give her that chance.

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That's the best Amongst all.

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I agree with those who say the past is in the past, and that there is nothing for you to 'forgive'. As long as you love and trust her now, then you should have a wonderful future together.

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wow, no - stay with her! <br />
the fact that she TOLD you about her past shows you how much she cares about you - she trusts you, & wanted to be honest with you. <br />
but at the end of the day, the question still remains: why does her past even bother you?

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Tanx 4 ur advice.i decided to move on with her.We are not yet married.One week ago, she told me about a shocking secret that she had abortion before and can't give birth anymore.All this is more than me.Here are things i used to fear which may come up as result to her past.I love children and wish to have in future.What to do?help me.

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I think that the main thing to concentrate upon now is DO YOU REALLY LOVE HER? Can you picture yourself in your mind with her a couple of years down the track? Do you FEEL that she has true feelings for you?<br />
<br />
As has been stated, young people are just "learning the ropes"; they make mistakes; hopefully she has learnt that about her past attitude towards sex, and is ready to take on a more mature and stable sort of relationship... But if there is any niggling doubt in your feelings that she is the one you want to spend your life with, do more work on trying to find out why and resolve it.<br />
<br />
If you do decide to seize the day and "go for it", may you be much blessed and may all difficulties be elucidated and resolved in peace!

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Dude past is past. If you guys love each other then nothing else matters. You need to try and get over this feeling though otherwise you would end up being insecure or suspicious, which is bad for a relationship.

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You're going to lose a prize, over this ?<br />
You're a fool.

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Little poopy-boy. It would seem that your love is not so boundless. Did it never occure to you that ypur girl may have a history? You are lame. Not her. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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Don't worry about the past concentrate on the now and the future...We are all stupid when we are young she's no different.

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We all did things in our past that we might look back on with a bit of apprehension and even regret. Nevertheless, you cannot totally help who you fall in love with. Good, bad or whatever, she seems to be the girl you want. Dealing with a girl's past isn't something you get to opt out of. <br />
My girlfriend have had roughly the same amount of sexual partners and I still feel some anger and frustration about her past. Still, I love her, and accepting it for what it was is the only reasonable thing I can do. We don't have the right to demand a girl remain a virgin or abstain from having fun in her youth. As long as she is the girl you want now and she treats you well, do the same to her. <br />
Don't listen to any fool who drops that macho **** on you. I'm a firefighter and I most definitely fit into the alpha male category of men and I say this... Learn to live with it!! Don't loose a good girl because of her past!! Only a moron would dump a girl because she had a wild sexual past!! Appreciate it for what it was and move on!! <br />
Real men don't get insecure because they're not dating virgins!! If you want to hang out with the losers who tell you that she's a **** or a *****, then by all means, dump her and join ChristenMingle.com. Or, be a man and don't judge her. She would probably prefer having met you sooner anyways, so get over it and move the ***k on. <br />
You cannot blame a girl for enjoying sex, what girl doesn't? Even if she engaged in acts that push the boundaries of what you might consider normal.

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break up with her. do you really want the women that is by your side and you call your wife to be the women that has had over 20 other guys inside of her. that's disgusting. of course she will have had sex before you but with that many guys. sounds like a girl you have fun with not a girl that you make a life with unless you like having the girl that everyone else has had also.

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Are you sure to get Another one 'Virgin'???<br />
Leave it up to her if she loves you then she'll get you out of this Rubbish.

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This is the answer , dump her nasty ***, 28 guys!!! There is no excuse for that, she is a plain hoe pure and simple . Women should respect them selfs and not give it to just anyone . You know what happens to girls like that" nothing" when a guy is ready to settle down, he doesn't want a ****, but a good respectful girl. No matter what people say " the past matters" Find your self a good self recpecting girl.

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Tanx 4 ur advice.i decided to move on with her.We are not yet married.One week ago, she told me about a shocking secret that she had abortion before and can't give birth anymore.All this is more than me.Here are things i used to fear which may come up as result to her past.I love children and wish to have in future.What to do?help me.

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Are you crazy---at least one of you NEEDS to be experianced or your sexlife in the future will get borring!<br />
Try learning to enjoy stories of her past sexual experiance&mabe learning from them!<br />
Cuckhold Don London Ont.

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yes throw her away,but give her my adress,,

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The past is the past. There is nothing she can do to change it. The question now isnt what sort of girl is she, its what sort of man are you? Are insecure and juvenile or are you secure and mature?

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first of all all women turns on the water its their favorite trick don't let that bother you .but if she cheated on others she will cheat on you in a heart beat.once a woman gets that much action its had to stop.one man will never satisfi her again isn't that right kimimygary.

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She finally cheated on me.Not only once but more than 7 times with different guys.You are right,she cant be satisfied with a man.She went back to her old life.I regret all the time and energy i've wasted.But such is life.I will take it as an experience and move on.

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Sorry

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