Should I contact my bio father who never wanted anything to do with me? I have so many questions only he can answer.
I was conceived by 2 married ppl (not married to each other), I am 27 and I have not seen my bio father since I was 7. The one time I spoke to him, over the phone, in my early teens, he said for me to stop calling him. I have 4 sisters, 3 older, 1 younger (whom I've never met), I used to visit 2 of my sisters but due to random drama, it ended. I don't know what happened, all I know is that there was a huge fallout with my mom and bio father. I remember my mom would take me to see my bio dad when they were still "seeing each other" but my real dad, the man who has raised me, was always there for me, he signed my birth certificate and has always been my dad. But there is this part of me that just can't get past wanting to meet my bio father now, I don't know what it is, I feel so distracted and alone in this, my mom has never been someone I can talk to and my husband doesn't get it. I don't know what to do and I am scared if I don't do something, I will regret it later. Any advice?
15 Answers to "Should I contact my bio father who never wanted anything to do with me? I have so many questions only he can answer."
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First, who your mother says is your real father is something of a question. One man she was having an affair with while married to some other man may be her best guess, but a cheating wife is not someone who can be counted on to tell the truth about the father of her children. If she was cheating on her husband she is likely to have been cheating on her affair too. Without a DNA test its either her best guess or the guy she wanted it to be.
Second, you may (or may not) be his bastard child, but he had a family. A man is obligated to care for the children he promised to support with the standard form agreement called "marraige." Your mother chose to cheat on her husband and not to use available birth control while doing so. Shame on her. Whomever is your father may "claim his bastard" but is under no moral obligation to do so.
What you should do is to get on with having a life as well as you can under the circumstances that were your mother's fault. And, don't do such wrong to your own children.Like (1)
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Do it. You probably won't like what you find, and it will never satisfy, but wondering is worse.
He owes you this. Pester the ***** until he's on his deathbed unless he gives you the answers you need.
No judge is going to give the man a restraining order against you, so go nuts.Like (1)
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Only if you are not afraid of being rebuffed or ignored.
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Try, but don't hold your breath. I'm sorry if he doesn't at least talk to you. Please don't set yourself up to fail if he doesn't want to talk with you.
I have no idea if these will work, but here are some ideas.
If you get him on the phone, tell him you want to talk, but not right then as he won't like being put on the spot. Offer to mail or e-mail him some of the questions so he may think about them ahead of time. Of course, he could say he will only respond via letter or e-mail after you say that so that is something you have to think about ahead of time.
Or that you would like to talk a few days from now so he may prepare himself.
I wish you the best of luck...Like (1)
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sure,cross the bridge and get it over with. then u can have closure on it to some degree. gods speed
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yep
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Yes you should, but only if you are looking for closure. Wanting to ask your biological father questions in no way detracts from the love you have for the man that raised you. I have lived my life never wanting to wonder 'what if'. If you have questions that eat at you everyday, you owe it to yourself to find peace. Also, I don't mean to sound like I am lecturing, but you should try to stay close to as much family as possible. I don't keep in touch with my family that often, but they know I am there for them whenever they need me. In my opinion, few things feel as satisfying as making peace. Just imagine one day sitting with your siblings laughing about what was keeping you from communicating. It might not happen, but it has to be worth a try.
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If you really want to, go for it. Maybe, he'll want to talk and answer some of your questions.
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I'm not really qualified to answer, but if you do contact him, be prepared for disappointment. Good luck.
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A tricky one, here, well, sometimes your bio parent is not a person that you want to be around and can actually be a problem, that may be one reason he rejects you. Maybe, sort of approach from a distance, just be prepared to be rejected by him if that happens.
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hug you..
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There is no should in life. It sounds like your bio father may not be a lot of help to you. Try and contact him and if he says stuff it, remove him from your life. Sorry about the trouble, but parents can be real jerks at times.
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You should. You may find out that mom made it so difficult for him to see you, that he left. I've heard of that so many times.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO5wryDdEI0
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by smithbo112 Mar 5th, 2013 at 8:54AM
How about write him a letter with your questions.
[ Reply ] | Like (2)