Should I get help? Is it really that serious?
I have no desire to die. But sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to just finally give up. I've thought of endless ways I could end my life, their mostly idle fleeting thoughts. I really have no reason to be depressed. I feel guilty for even thinking of these thoughts of ending my life. It goes in cycles though. I'll be perfectly fine, energetic, happy for a few weeks, and then suddenly that voice pushes its way to the front and tells me just how useless, and replaceable I am. Logically I know no one I actually care for views me as this, and so I feel even more guilty. I just get tired of fighting those relentless voices with logic every couple of weeks. Its like I can push them back for a few weeks and then they come back full force.
Whats worse is I feel as though my concerns are invalid. I work with men and women who have seen much more than me, heck I haven't done anything remotely traumatizing like some of them have. They aren't getting help. So I wonder why I should