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My dad left me and my brother when I was 11. I am now 23. He messaged me on Facebook when I was 19 and thought that I would be open to his message and act like he didn't disappear for 8 years. Last year, the man that raised me and I consider my dad passed away. It made me think about a lot and how short life really is. I am constantly on the fence about letting my real dad back into my life. I need advice from people that do not know me and may have experienced the same situation. He was not a good guy when I was younger, I am not sure if he is still the same and I'm just not sure how to handle this situation.
ginaoxmarie ginaoxmarie 22-25, F 8 Answers Jun 15 in Parenting & Family

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Oh I see this pattern with men who abandon their children or who are so hateful about paying child support or not spending time with them after a divorce. They reject the young child who needs a role model & their father's love when they are young but when they reach adulthood (18th birthday, high school or college graduation, whatever it is in their mind), they suddenly want to meet up & befriend them. Seems like they don't want the responsibility of being a father but they want the benefits after that "burden" has passed. The man who did for you when you were young & needed a father is your REAL father, not the one who donated the *****.

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That is actually exactly what happened. He didn't pay his child support and told me he was leaving and left until I got a Facebook message from him one day. I didn't give him a chance to talk to me when he messaged me. He shared a picture of me from my college graduation (which creeped me out) saying I make him proud and I'll always be his princess...WHICH I DID NOT APPRECIATE. I would never say that the man that raised me isn't my real dad I just always think that if he were to die (I am very close with his side of my family and I believe they all still talk to him but it's taboo to talk to them about him) that I will feel some regret about not giving him a chance .. even if that's selfish of me.

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My half-sister was surprised when her biological father showed up at her high school graduation with a fur coat as a gift for her. He hadn't been in her life the entire time, and even beat my mother severely to cause a miscarriage (which didn't happen). She was surprised when he offered the gift, opened it up and looked at it, and handed it back to him telling him he wasn't in her life while she was growing up & she didn't need him now (this was in the 60's)....she did contact her siblings from his second marriage & communicate with them later on.

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i don't know , i was adopted and tried just lately to find out about my real parents and sisters and brothers but the adoption agency are too busy protecting their own @ss with their rules and policies so i got nothing to go on really

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Meet him and take it from there.

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Another inc-est loving motherfc*cking b*tch? Go to hell!

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haha not ****** just not sure if I should speak to him.. but thank you for being so rude :)

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Ok, Mr. 50 Year Old Men Posing As a Girl.

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I wouldn't, but then a lot of people don't do the things I do :)

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