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We were relocated through The Police Safety team to another country. The grandmother of my kids from their fathers side has made contact (the kids dad was the abuser). She wishes to keep in touch via cards, pictures and emails with my kids and wants to visit them when she comes to this country. She has pleaded with me via email that she misses them a lot. I am scared she is easily influenced by her abusive son, or that she may lead him to us. Life is good now, we have a new family and friends. Its been 4 years and im scared this will open a door to darker times again... What do I do...
femmecat femmecat 26-30 12 Answers Jan 27, 2013 in Motherhood

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NO! dont jeopardize your safety or the kids He might be using his mother form what u say. He could kidnap them or worse just to hurt you. or even kill all of you I wouldn't even let him know what country I was in. I know its hard on the Grandmother. Im a Nana myself and it would kill me not to see my grands but to keep them safe I would do anything! Good luck and God Bless!

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There's simply no way you can trust the abusers parents, no matter how well intentioned they are. No. Just no.

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I dont think its a good idea if he can influence her. You have to think of your kids and yourself first. All of your saftey is the most important thing.

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Well, surely you understand that, with the relatively little information that we have, and given the importance of the matter, it's difficult to advise you well (I'm definitely not asking for, and would definitely not advise you to give more information).

Getting the advice of the Police Safety team might be a good idea.

But, as you are scared that the grandmother of your kids from their fathers' side be easily influenced by her abusive son, or that she may lead him to you, as life is good now, you have a new family and friends, it's been 4 years and you're scared this will open a door to darker times again... I would advise that you think, first and foremost, of you and your kids.

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If you can arrange a visit where you all meet at a third place, somewhere that is nowhere near your new location, then it may be safe, maybe...



I would not think that allowing her to visit your new home would be a good idea, especially considering modern technology. What if she updates her facebook page while visiting, and accidentally includes location information? Easily done, and would give the game away to her son immediately.



Best wishes, and stay safe. A new life really is a precious thing, and I'm sure you don't want to have to disappear again.

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She may feel bad and it is heart wrenching but, unless she is going to take the abuse for you. I'm sorry but, be safe, take some self defensive classes, get a tazer and stay close with your kids. And maybe in a good decade or so go back and kick his as* A new man wouldn't be bad either. Good luck and God bless.

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You must have not lived in the US then. The Police Safety team that is an oxymoron if I have ever heard one.

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