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This is a long story so here is the shortest possible version: I dated a man who is 8 years older than me for 2.5 years. For the first 6 months he had a girlfriend who he claimed hated him. He said she knew about me. After 6 months of nothing changing I tried to get out of it. He freaked and said he dumped her. So I stayed for a year in that relationship, but in that time I was never allowed to his house, never met his friends or family. If I protested I was yelled at, or he would leave or he would try to break up with me. Finally, after a year of this I discovered she had been living there all along. Again, I left and he freaked out and "made her move out." All of her stuff remained, she kept calling, but he assured me it was done. For 6 months we were off and on as I would find her hair or lipstick in the bathroom, or he would grow cold or mean. Then I got pregnant and he essentially made me get an abortion. We split again, got back together. Repeat. Now we're apart & I can't live.
ClarkStuff ClarkStuff 22-25 13 Answers Jul 8, 2013 in Broken Hearts & Betrayal

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you should not

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Cut him out of your life. Loving someone doesn't make it ok to allow them to walk all over your trust.Enough is enough. Look what he wanted for the baby..his fun and games came first. How terrible.

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Let that dumbass go! <br />
You're a lot better then that!<br />
<br />
As for the "abortion" if you got that life, aborted because of this man then **** no if he's worth any more of your time. If that was me and my man/ex said get an abortion, HELL TO THE NO. So tbh you shouldn't have gone through with it if it wasn't your decision.. & if he talked you in to it or whatever then he isn't worth your love etc.<br />
You need to start focusing on yourself, rather then this douchebag.

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I was really passive in that decision because I was 22 and had just been let go from my producing job. I was terrified and was looking to him for guidance since he's 31. He also has a large house and absolutely had the means to take care of me and the child. When I went to discuss the option of keeping it he said no so hysterically that I was frozen. I just kept thinking that I couldn't have a child whose father didn't want it (my dad had not wanted me). Is that normal? If a man truly loves a woman they don't want them to abort their child, right? He later said he regretted it horribly and wished we would have kept it, but I fear he only said that to win me back because once I came back he acted like he didn't want me again. He promised marriage and living together and when the time came for me to move in (my lease was up) he said no. That's when I left again... well that and I found lipstick all over a towel in his bathroom. He claims they were old stains and that I'm insane for having gotten upset.

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The abortion is also part of the reason why it's so hard for me to move on. I'm so sad about it and regret it deeply and I feel like being with him would make me less of a failure.

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I don't get it. What's in it for you?

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I did not get more than 6 sentences in and my gut said.. dump his *** and move on. Unless you want to be abused.. that is. If you don't then find a woman support group and fix what ever is "not right" in your own head, that allowed you to even put up with him in the first place. This is not about him, it is about you. Fix you, and it fixes the "Him" too.

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Love yourself. Respect yourself. Get some therapy.

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You should indeed let him go. He sounds awful.

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Sure. Stay with him if you like being treated like that.

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I look back and can't see the mistreatment anymore. I can only absorb the blame and hate myself.

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Really? Because the way you wrote it, it seems like you were fairly bitter.

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