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I have been with my husband for 8 years and living with him for 6 before he started becoming verbally and physically aggressive. An incident in June involved him going to court and now we are due to divorce but he won\'t let go. I\'ve contacted him but he can\'t respond because there is a Restraining Order. I can\'t help but miss him and want to check up on him. We did have some good times and he did care for me, as Ironic as that sounds. Should I even bother?
IceQueen2014 IceQueen2014 22-25, F 14 Answers Dec 31, 2013 in Marriage

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I'm sorry but if someone is physically harming you, you need to stay away from them.

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Nope. You should go to therapy.

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Fair point

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You have gotten this far, don't turn back now. He hurt you, let him go. Be strong and be brave, better things are ahead for you.

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Thank you :)

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You're welcome :)

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No. Making an effort is saying you feel like you deserve to be abused and you don't. What you are going through is common, you have been very close with someone and are merely unaccustomed to not having them around or close. It will pass and your quality of life will improve, especially when you meet people who treat you like a human being rather than using you to fulfill their own need for power or whatever is wrong with him.

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Ohh no no stay away from him, he's sick, and you need to have more respect for yourself, make a new

Life and forget about this agressor!!!

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I know a lot of people will say leave him, which I also agree with. But if you truly love him and you're positive he loves you and will never put his hands on you again, then stay with him. Have conditions where he both of you guys go to therapy and him go to anger management. Forgive but never forget what happened. Again if you have any doubt that he might abuse you a second time, then leave.

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You're very compassionate and I appreciate your response. The Restraining Order is in place for 3 years so it's time for us to move on.

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It is not safe to try until you both have had some rounds of counseling. You can't make it work until you have fixed the problem.

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I agree!

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It is hard and you both have to be all in, or it won't work. Good luck to you. However it goes, things will be better for you for having taken these steps to change your situation.

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... I'm in the exact same position. Court is tomorrow to determine if he goes to jail or not because of an explosive fight we had recently

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I'm so sorry to hear that. It won't be easy but it will be for the best, I promise.

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No and you are violating that restraining order also . It may be an order against him but it also applies to you . No do NOT bother. I have been there and everytime we as abused women go back that gives them more power and makes it easier for them to manipulate you . Please stay away. I took mine back and he sobered up for nine years then back to the real him 2 yrs and 2 months ago. My 25th wedding anniversary is in February. The thing im looking most forward to in 2014 is divorce. Yes I miss the man he could be but that man is gone. Please be safe and smart.

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I think it may be time to let go... Either the abuse is part of his nature or comes out due to anger. .. Either way he has to change. .. He can change but has he? If the answer is no then I would think carefully

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What it has taken you this long to think about it



Why worry now?

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What do you mean?

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