Should I really care if my husband's family doesn't like me? Should I treat them like they treat me?
It's hard for me to be like whatever when it comes to my mother in law and my husband's siblings. I've tried my hardest to be open and nice to them but they dislike me. I always find myself trying but they are all fake with me. Should I just accept it? I guess I will stop going around with my husband to see his family and just let him go on his own. I wish they liked me the way they liked me...I'm really good to my hubby. :(
11 Answers to "Should I really care if my husband's family doesn't like me? Should I treat them like they treat me?"
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been there done that.you did not do any thing as i did not,but the laughing and badgering went on.guess what?one day when mom and sis are gone like mine,you will be so angry at your self for going for more.if i would have stayed away i would not be angry at myself.take their fun away and do not go around.don't say a word,just stay away.mine were so jealous that i had to ask,what the hell is this??his mom and sister and brothers all wanted to marry him?got stupid back.no it will not get better,trust me.their loss.
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Sorry to hear that. I am also disliked by my wife's family. I no longer care. It has made my life much easier. I go with her to 'family' get togethers about 1/4 the time. I say it that way because we live 15 minutes from her family and 1600 miles away from mine. Everything has been pitched in her favor for the 10 years we've been together. If they don't appreciate my efforts to keep them together, that is their problem. Like you, I know I am a good person and a good mate.
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In the mood I'm in I would like to tell you ways to **** with their heads. But, practically, rise above them while keeping your contact with those vexing people to a minimum - but talk to your husband. Perhaps you can still visit with him, but agree upon the shortest duration practical, and bring a book.
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treat them the way you want to be treated... but don't care about it if they don't respond in kind...
...as long as you are good with your husband... he is the important oneLike (2)
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there must be a reason that they dont like you - you say that you try your hardest to be nice and open with them but there is some reason they do not like you
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They don't like me I feel because I was divorced and have two wonderful son's I the time. I am also two years older than him and that was his mom's issue. Besides all that he was the one who persude me. He really swepted me off my feet when we started to get to know eachother. Other than that I never gave them a reason to dislike me. I heard from other family members that his sister and mother just plain old disliked me!
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Depends. If you just met them then the bonding process needs time, otherwise talk to the mediator (your husband) and try to resolve matters that way. If there is no effort on their part then by all means play along with their facade and treat them the same.
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Have you spoken with your husband? Perhaps he could help you confront them if needed, and find out WHY they treat you badly.
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Oh my goodness!! I remember that day clearly...my husband turned and told his mom that I had something I needed to tell her and his sister and then left it to me! I swallowed hard but told her about all the times she hurt me. I layed it all out on the table to her and his sister and they had these shocked faces to my husband. I told them that I really want things good between us and that we're family. But all I got was looks of confusion by them.
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I honestly don't know what to say except to be patient, and keep treating the in-laws the way you would want to be treated.
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THE TRUTH
Discuss this with your husband, because what we think may mess up your relationshipsLike (1)
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No it's ok, I like hearing from others. It gives me a sense of comfort because I need to hear advice from others. It does help! My husband hears me out everytime I need to talk about this issue. It makes him sad because he wishes they were good to from the start. He knows I've been hurt by them.
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very well, I was hopeful that you would find comfort within your life and heart.
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some familys are never happy with the choices of its members try and not take is personal
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If you love and respect your husband, put up with his family. Be nicer than nice to them. Someday it will make a difference.
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by Emmanuel04 1 Dec 2nd, 2012 at 4:35PM
You shouldn't care at all, you cant win them all. Never pay hurt with hurt. Repay with love and they will feel bad for treating you badly
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